| Current mood: | frustrated |
| Current music: | Powerman 5000 |
boredom...
Alright... yeah... pretty much... I know I am a fuck up and have been saying that for many years... I am on the "10 yr. plan" because I don't try and just barely give a fuck... There is no point in being someone I'm not especially if others attempt to do something to cahnge me... I've learned that the hard way! I'm sorry for disrespecting you and your house and I really should just grow the fuck up considering not only do I fuck myself over I end up fucking other people around me over. I gave up one just about everything! There is no real point because who will be there fo you in the end (whatever the end really is) YOURSELF!!! Ponitless b/s to deal with! People can go out get pregnant fuck up there lifes w/e! Not my fucking problem because they have enough pride or fucking BALLS to fucking tell me anyway so in my fucking opinon why bother!? I will still be there for them no matter what though because thats who I am. Bri I always tell you to tell me your feelings or something about yourself and you say there is nothing to say. I've always known you hold to many fucking feelings inside and never let them out to anyone because you have trust issues and other problems... and no I am not going to bring up how you are a drop out... cause your right that is not my fucking problem... your life not mine and I realize that and yes I have talked shit but its just b/s that is really pointless and if you asked me about then I would probaly tell you except I wouldn't remember very much... although that is ussually me excuss if I don't feel like talking about something... its just you'd listen I'd speak and I wouldn't get an honest response back! I dunno... life just fucking blows... I definently do not praise Eddie cause she has a fucking job... I am proud... but not like OMG YAY!!! Your right about everything about the whole Rissa thing but looks like we'll never be tight again anyway so w/e! The only real difference between me and her is that NO I DO NOT HAVE SEX and shit along those lines... but hey what are ya gonna do right... people just use you... I don't think I have ever intentionally used you... I admit yeah I'm sure I have... I have betrayed you... I have backstabbed you... I never know how you really feel... I hate people who talk all this shit about themselves like they are GOD or something... everyone bow down... everyone always thinks their life is so much worse than everyone else but in reality you can't compare other peoples lives to your own because everyone is (fortunatly) very different... "kill people with kindness" yeah... I am so sick of just being around! If that chic pulled out a gun to fucking kill me I probaly would have first freaked out but then been like yeah please do it... w/e... just state the odvious... yeah... your the only one with a real sense on life b/s have you gone threw anything real yet in your life NO! If that is even what you meant... TARGET evryone but yourself... buddy... I'm sorry I can't be perfect... June 11th 2003... yup yup yup.... TIGHT... memories when we all semi got along... I can't apologize because if I did I either wouldn't know what I am apologizing for or just wouldn't mean it... true friends... umm... yup Kevin is calling and I am just decling it over and over again... ahhh relationships suck big fat fucking balls... can anyone say UPSESSIVE!!!!! omg.... oh well I've got other shit I can bitch about but not right now cause I'll save that for a different entry...
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