|Current mood:|| disappointed|
|Current music:||the simpsons|
so... moving into my dads has already posed a problem. apparently i am too much of a hassle alredy. he can't even take two mintues to go and get me a key made so that i can move in on the day that i move out of school, i have to stay at grandmas until next tuesday. grr! i just want to email him and be like its not worth my time or yours, so i'm just going to live with grandma. she does not treat me like i am a pain like dad does sometimes. well she does treat me like a pain, but in a joking way. i don't have a bed there, and i cant take a shower, but i am happier when i'm around her. but i get soo depressed when i cant sleep and stuff, and when they fight, but i dont want to not be able to do what i want all summer, i mean i am and adult. so i have to choose between being able to do what i want and feeling like i am at home, btu not having a bed or being able to sleep or gettign to shower whenever i want, or...i could live at my dads, have a bed, and a shower, be close to the pool and not have to listen to grandma and lori fight all day, btu mayeb not being able to be out as late as i want and stuff. grr i hate it. and its so stressful packing and moving. i really hope i can hook up my computer in my room, so that i can have all teh stuff in there, like all my music and my phone numbers and all, i mean even if i dont have internet, its ok, just as long as i can have all my pictures and stuff, i guess i coudl just hook it up and send everythign i need to my dads computer, but thats a pain. i also hope that i can have my own screen so that i can have my own background and stuff, i know its trivial and stupid, but i dontwant to look at motorcycles everytime i want to get online. i will figure it all out i always do.
so moving itself is going to be stressful i think . i have to pack it all up, and hopefully kevin will be able to help me move and stuff, not like matt last year. god that sucked, i had to move all the heavy stuff by myself up all those stairs because he is a lazy fuck. god i complain alot. but still it sucked, he promised, he always promised all sorts of stuff, but never did any of it. i really hope kevin is different, i mean i think he is. he seems pretty motivated, adn busy, i also hope that i dont get in his way of what he wants, because he feels he needs to spend time with me. i worry way too much. new resolutions, no more worrieng and no more complaining, well less of both, i cant jsut quit straight off, you know.
this summer i am going to be in such great shape. we are going to swim adn run adn walk and rollerblade. i hope that i dont get lazy, we always do. i have to eat way better too. i am sick of being uncomfortable with my body. i just want to get rid of my tummy, i have had it for so long. i just want to be able to wear whatever i want, i want to be able to wear cute dresses, and a cute bathing suit and adn just be hot. i mean i am the hot chick with the lip ring, i need the body to match.
i cant wait till kevins show on the 15th. i cant wait for that kid that i fucking hate to even look at me once. god it will so be on then. if he looks at me i'm going to be like what the fuck are you looking at? do you have soemthign to say or something? and then he will be like something something dumb... and i will be like well let me find what my boyfreind thinks of that. and tehn kevin will come kick his ass. and it will rule. i love it. haha. and then i will laugh at the skipping kid. that will rule too. haha. ok until next time...