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melissa (lafeebleue) wrote,
@ 2003-05-03 18:11:00
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    Current mood: annoyed
    Current music:heart of glass- blondie

    so today was kind of a good day. better than the past few. i went with leena to her grandparents house, adn it was fun, but i thought too much on the ride home. i always think too much. that is what always ends up bringing me down. i wish sometimes i could just turn off my head. like the dumb people that i see, that i know had to have turned off thier brains before they do certain things, that just have that dull glaze over thier faces and a fake smile. going to the shining with kevin and others. don't really know who yet. i havent' seen him in a few days, well i did the ohter day for a little bit, and ithat s good because we just started dating, and i don't want to get too overwhelmed with the thought of "us". i mean really i've only known him a few weeks. i mean i know of him and my freind becca is really good friends, er was really good friends with him, so i know like i odnt have to be wary of him because i dont knwo him very well, but we jsut get on so well that i'm not too worried abotu that. btu i dont want us to get in too far too soon, so that we like ruin it for ourselves. i like him soo much and i know soon i am going to madly in love with him, but i really want it too be goos and last a long time, so i dont want to rush any part of it. but i am taking him to the movie and making him dinner, adn he feels bad because i'm doing that for him, but he's my boyfreind, and i know he has to spend his money on other things, like his band and more inportantly his son. i can totally live wthout dates and stuff and if i want to do something, why shoudltn i pay? i mean i was my idea to go. i know it will pay of fin the end, and not in a liek hey i'm going to get something out of this, but iknow he will know that i really care abotu him if i do nice little things for him. yeah so enough obout kevin for now, i sound like i'm obsessed with my boyfreind or something, or liek my world revolves around him, but everyone who knows me knows that it doesnt and that i deserve this with him, and i do so its cool. i just hope that i dont mess it up by having to go to jail because i'm going to kill the dude that lives next to me. he has such awful taste in music. i'm sick of the justin timberlake wake up calls. until next time...

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