| Current mood: | listless |
| Current music: | Catch 22~ Guilty Pleasures |
it's been a while.
yeah, so i haven't updated for a while... things haven't been going too hot. I've been really confused lately. I really think that i see things in black and white. There's never much gray area. I need things to be defined and i don't always realize that they won't always be that way.
i guess it's just kuz i wish everything could be that simple... but it can't always. And i really do hate it. I wish everything could be easily solved. I wish i could label everything as something and carefully store away to emerge later when i meet someone else of the same criteria, so i can label them as a "definite" too. But i can't, it's impossible. Not everything can be labeled, that's where the gray area comes into play. But i'm not very good at realizing that the gray does exist. And when i talk about labelling things, i don't mean "she is a prep." "he is a punk." I just mean... well, for example... let's say i have a person labelled. All that means is that i have them figured out. I can understand them. I guess knowing these things gives me some sense of control over myself and what i think/ feel.
I'd rather remain in my safe little world where everything is how i perceive it... also known as unreality. I'm comfortable there... i know what's going on. I don't ever need to second guess myself or be uncertain about anything...
...if only...
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