Sometimes I feel like I have all the love in the world. And other times I feel so alone, like I have no one. Right now I feel like I speak a different language than most of the people I've ever met. All of the people here. And I just want someone to let me know they understand, and that they'll be there, and that they won't expect anything from me. I want someone to answer all my questions without hesitation, without holding back. I want someone to be honest with me, brutally honest if they need to be. I want things to be easier, or at least liveable.. and I want to mean something to someone who means the world to me, I want to matter enough so that they'd wait for me. I have so little control over the things that matter to me. I can't help but think that I might suffocate here before my life has even started.