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| Current music: | Best I Ever Had-Drake Feat. Lil Wayne |
The Best Damn Thing
I can't express how great my experience with the Canadian Military was. It was honestly the best damn thing that ever happened, I will never forget my BMQ for as long as I live. At first I was so stressed that I thought I wasn't going to make it, but as the days past by, I became a stronger person inside and out. It made me realize alot of things that I took for granted, and how civilian life is different. I lived with all my course troops for such a long time, that I grew accustomed to working together with them. I was finally recognized for all the hard work I poured into the course. My Master Bombardier confirmed with me that I was his top candidate, and I was a good soldier. That meant a lot to me, because I constantly strive for the best. I am a marksman as well, I was recommended to become a sniper. I finally found a great sense of accomplishment in something I can do, a goal to work toward. All the while becoming the person I want to be. I accomplished goals that I never thought possible and brought out a new side in myself I never thought existed.
There was just so much new experiences and weird shit that happened at BMQ. I learned how to be a killer and all, but I also learned how to be a team player. My dreams were starting to get weird, because everything I was dreaming was happening, kind of like de'ja'vu or something. But most importantly, I finally learned how to let go of the old me.... All of my mistakes and bad habits and just straight out everything that was bothering me about being a weird guy.
But yeah, I didn't get to finish my story before I left. It might have a more sincere tone to it now, because I view things a bit differently now, I finally let go.... I believe that I just left to go to school and I was pretty much a sad guy. My brothers, being who they are, did not want me to be alone. Because after all, I still never brought home a girl friend yet and I was beginning to think that they thought I was gay or something. But no, I was just so attached to one girl, that I literally blocked every other girl out, no matter how funny or smart or good looking they were. My brothers girlfriends tried setting me up with their friends all the time, but I couldn't get here off my mind. I was literally insane now that I think of it, I just wasn't ready to admit it or something.
But when I went to school, I really let her get to my studies and I slipped, I just wasn't focusing like I should have. Kind of silly of me know that I think of it, but I was one fucked up crazy guy. So I just couldn't wait to finish the semester and I ended up failing one of my four classes, barely getting by on another class, which was stupid of me :(. Crazy what a girl can do to one person.
Also while I was at school, I picked up an advertisement on direct regular member recruitment of the RCMP. I showed up one day thinking that it was going to be a information session. When I arrived the lady was like"Ohh, we have a walk in." She took my license and told me to go sit down. Next thing that I knew, I was told that the tests were going to be four hours long, and I was like "what the hell did I get myself into?" I just started my career choice by fluke, I thought "ohh shit, well what the hell am I going to university for if I can get in fast like this?" There was a whole shit load of tests and processing that would go on for the next six or seven months, that I can not disclose.
But I went back to Wal-Mart to work, super excited to be working around her again, because all I had to do was see her to be satisfied. I still remember the first time I saw her after all those months, she looked at me and rolled her eyes, which I should have taken as a clear sign of her feelings toward me. But yeah I was blinded by my craziness, and I overlooked a lot of things, silly me. I also had a second job outside of Wal-mart, building houses with my older brother. It payed way more than wal-mart did, but I spent more time at wal-mart just to see her. I remember working all morning just looking forward to go to wal-mart at 3:30, it was like all I ever looked forward to was seeing her again. Yeah my days were long for a while, waking up at seven and working till 2:30 then 3:30 to midnight at Wallies. But all I cared about was her, so I was literally a crazy fuckin person. I just had it in my head that she was still into me for the longest time, its all that I wanted to believe, because I didn't want to get hurt. But little did I know what was waiting in store for me lol :):(:'(. Gonna go to bed now, ill write more later.
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