only time will tell if i am right or i am wrong
so its almost been a year. thats right. one year. how insane is that. that still completely blows my mind. so much has happened that i couldnt even begin to think of where to start. even though i feel like i've accomplished so much, one thing still remains the same. but i feel like im so close to a break through. so freaking close, but it wont ever get there. i kinda feel like the more i try and the more i put into it, the better its getting. even though things backfire constantly, it always smooths itself out. im being more vocal yet so insanely obvious. and i hate that. i know im just setting myself up for a huge let down. i've built this up so much for so long that once it crashes its going to suuuuuucccckkkkk. and i mean suck. and i only say that because im scared. i hate that i have such obvious non-friend feelings. and that its all in vain. because no matter what truths and deep conversations alcohol brings out, soberness is much more believable.
i dont know. i'll only drive myself crazzzyyy
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