Walking With Shadows (l0st_in_silence) wrote, @ 2006-06-09 17:05:00

been thinkin a lot today
havent written in a while. mainly because im scared to. despite the fact that no one knows i have this journal, i still worry someone will stumble across it one day and put everything together. and that would probably just ruin my life. but even with this notion in the back of my head i cant seem to stop writing.

i will admit these past couple months have put me in a whirlwind. i've never been more confused, and jealous, and worried, and bothered. but regardless i wouldnt change what i have. of course i'd change it if i could make it better, but i cant, and therefore i'll stick with what little i have.

i think one of my biggest concerns with this whole situation is the feelings. i know what i feel, but i dont know what he feels. i assume the feelings arent the same. and is that ok? should i continue this while i fear that theres absolutely no meaning. obviously i'll continue it. i'll cling on until theres no fight left in me. which is a naive and foolish thing to do. but for some reason i believe its worth it. i hope my heart knows what its doing.. because i cant see it as of now.

I hope to God I mean a little more then the sounds that escape your tired 4 A.M. lips
And oh how I wish I meant a little more then a symphony of heavy breathing and the friction of hips

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