| Current mood: |  confused |
| Current music: | otep |
what i was thinking
I feel like i am going crazy i am so umpset for no reason i want to cry but i can't i want to cut but i can't i want to just run away to another mplace and be someone else for a while see if i can fuck someone else life ump for a while you know i feel like i can't take it anymore but you know i relized something that i don't want to kill my self i don't want to go out like that i am strong then that i'm not some poor pathtic little girl that can't take it i say i am stronger and all this shit but i haven't proofed that to anyone not even myself i mean i don't want to go out like my friends i am better then that and even if i'm not at the least i have to try and be i am going to get my shit together and be the mperson i claim to be because right now i feel so fake i mean i till my friends i am fine when i'm not and i shouldn't need anyone to tell me everything go to be ok when i get a little umpset i should have enough faith in myself to know everything is going to be ok and i know that is going to take time but i know if i try i can do it i really don't want to end ump being another teen suicide or junkie i want to do something with my life besides drinking and cutting and using and shit like that i think i can do more then that i know i am better then that i want to have a life and a future i'm going to try and i know that it might be hard but i have to try i have to do it but right now i am trying to get my little brother to do his home work and its making me crazy but he is finally listening and we started his homework i love my baby brother but anyway he is so smart i know he is going to do so much better then i did in my life i am so proud to be his sister will this is all i am writing right now
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