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Caroline (killlingbliss) wrote,
@ 2003-07-14 12:19:00
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    Current mood: blah
    Current music:only the sounds of my tears

    I'm really starting to miss my ex byfriend i mean i even started crying over him again last night and i don't know what to do i mean i got days sometimes a week with out missing him or thinking about him but then it just comes over me like a wave in the ocean goes over my board and i start to drown in my own tears i feel so alone with out him its like no one loves me or sees the real me i meann when we were together itn was like finally someone got me understood me and loved me anyway saw me for everything i was and it was ok that i was damaged he loved me anyway but now it's like i am alone with my thoughts and have no one that can understandnwhat i am going throw i try to talk to my friends but they just don't get it there something about my ex that made me think everything was going to be ok and now that i kno i will never see him or have him hold me again its like will i ever be whole again i know this seems stupid but i love him more then i ever loved anyone he was the first boy i ever trusted and let know the real me and its almost as if with out him i a just not ok like i need him to look at me and tell me i am bueatifull and that he loves me and everything will be ok even when i am knee high in tears and i loojk like shit he still made me feel like i was bueatiful i know its stupid but its the way i feel on the inside and thats so hard for me to change and a big part of me doesn't want to change that GOD what is wrong with me

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