|Current mood:|| crushed|
|Current music:||LAM / The Black Cat|
BLAH BLAH BLAH
It's funny how people confuse love alot.. Or maybe it's just me, who confuses liking someone with love. I'm confused, yes. I'm a bitch, I know this. And, as Josh says (which this still hurts), I'm an "Emo Gothic Bitch." *shrugs* Maybe I wouldn't've minded if it came from another person. I dont know. There's just so much shit going on, ("miniscule problems" as Josh says) but I dont really want to bring people into it. Yes, Josh, I remember almost everything you said to me, and exactly what you called me. Almost all of it. I blocked most of it out.
I just need to hole myself up, and avoid talking to the people who wind up hurting my pride more than me. Which means closing myself up to the world, getting rid of all my messengers, and losing myslef in my own little depressed and fucked up world. Who'd really care, anyway? Not many people. Why am I not suprised by that beknownst realization? Of course, everyone likes to fuck with my emotions, and twist my words around until I cant even remember saying what I said, and always, always, somehow they fuck me over. In one way or another. As the same with friendships. No, not just the "lovey dovey boyfriend/girlfriend" relationships I'm mostly bitching about, but yes, even my "friends" fuck me over. Which proves yet another reason why I dont trust many people. Very few people know the real me, and why I'm always down n out. Sam, Sara, and Kali. (When I really talk to her.) I am, though, considering closing myself up to the world and just.. stop using the computer for good unless I feel the dire need to update one of my many journals.
Maybe I'm not like you, the happy one. Maybe I am different, even though you might not believe it. I'm me. So stay the fuck out of my life unless I open the door of being in my life to you. But, for now, the door is closed. And I'm sealing my fate. RSVP's to a funeral that possibly might be coming up soon, will probably be needed. Have a nice life, and enjoy your ride while I bring a slow and pathetic stop to mine.
Remember kids, 'it's down the road, not across the street.'