|Current mood:|| indifferent|
nothin much else is new.
got class @ 1:25. yuk.
supposed to see H after class, but i havent called him yet so i dk.
he called me @ like 11something last nite and said he was going to bed; i didnt really believe him but i didnt say anything, i was just like " ok".
then i had a missed call from him @ 2:30am.
see, i dont think he was really in bed.
im always second, third, fourth guessing him. i dont believe anything he says. nothing.
why am i doing this?
blair also called, but i didnt hear the phone ring cause i was sleeping.
i miss him and i feel so bad still for all the crap that happened when i visited him.
God i wish i just wanted to be back together with him. it would make everything so much easier.
my sister is coming thursday! and i cannot wait :-)
i miss hanging out with her. i just hope that court will clean her shit out of the living room soon cause i dont want my sister to see the apt. like this.
its so annoying. court will start a project, (like this new one with her clothes all in the livingroom) but she doesnt finish...so now instead of not going out and getting fucked up everynight, and actually putting her freaking clothes away, she'll just leave them in the living room; so it looks messy and there is no room for anyone to sit. lovely.
i really need to get on top of things with school, bills, etc.
neeeeed to buy school books, pay express & my phone bill.
damn i have no $!!
thursday im starting as my 1st day training to be a server. holy shit im so nervous about it. i am sooooo not looking forward to this, plus it doesnt help to know that one of my bosses is just waiting for me to fail so she can be proven right. i hate that bitch. i didnt even do anything to her, and she hates me for no freakin reason.
i IM'd dave last nite while he had an away message, just saying " hi, i havent talked to u in a while, i just wanted to say hi"
yes, i admit that it was really asshole-ish of me to cut him off like i did, all cause he slept with robin on new years....yes i had no right to be that pissed, and yes...i know we werent going out, but still...
all he ever did was tell me how he cant wait for us to hang out when we are on a break from school, and all this other shit. so when xmas break comes...i amd the one calling .i am the one asking to hang out. he was totally weird when we did even hang out. i just dont appreciate how he built it all up, and then just blew me off. and to add salt to the wound....we were supposed to go to that new years party together, and just cause i couldnt go, he takes that skank robin. grr.
but besides that....
i miss him. alot. and i wish that i never called him up and gave him attitude and then hung up. cause that was the last time i talked to him and it sux.
i seem to have a way of chasing ppl out of my life. and then sit here and wonder why.
gota get ready for stupid class now.