| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | Unanswered Prayers~Garth Brooks |
*sigh*
So how's everyone been this week? It started out good for me, but ended up...blah. I mean...I just feel so lifeless. Seriously, like soo numb. I keep having this really bad pains, maybe my urinary tract is fucked up for some reason. OH well, seriously...I don't care. I'm not suicidal or anything, not that anyone cares. I finished my book 'season of passion'. It was really the only thing keeping me sane this week. :) It is sooo romantic...It made me feel good, cause the girl got some pretty shitty luck..but it ended up perfect. And then, I got even more depressed cause the book was over....I kinda felt like I was living it..and it was over. But, that just shows you it's a good, no a great book if it can make u feel that way. Danielle Steel. She does it every time. I started a new one, and I hope it's great. I'm sure it will be. Well tommorow I'm going out w/Tace and Joe to the basement to meet Joe's friend John. I'm sure I'll like him, but right now...I really haven't been able to concentrate on anything but...I don't even wanna say it, but Ryan. God! Why can't I just accept that we'll never be at the same place, and no matter how much both he and I want it, he'll never totally accept me. Not like a girlfriend. He's so confusing. He told me to write him an email the other day and didn't even write me back. I guess that's my answer. No matter what though, I have my dreams. I just hope there is truth to them, ya know? Matt's a sweetie too, I just don't get taken away by him the way Ryan does. With ryan...I could just lay in his arms forever. Even though I never have....a hug is all we've had. I trust him just as much as I always did. I just feel so comfortable with him...:) Gunna dream about him. It's all I have for now. And there is nothing wrong with that, right?
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