| Current mood: |  scared |
| Current music: | Hurt~Johnny Cash |
*sobs*
I'm so sick of being the one everyone dumps on. I can't stand it. It's more than ryan...okay he's the bulk of it. Ya know after me and robert broke up, I knew, or so I thought, that there where still a few guys out there. I just had to find them. Boy was I a dumbass. Lately, the only thing that has made me thing true love is still out there is my book. It's a danielle steel novel...anyone know it? It's called season of passion...it is soooooo good! Ryan...just...got he hurts me so much. I hate my life totally. I"m so sick of everything. I should never have listened to my heart....you know...i don't care if i walk out on the street tommorow and get killed. I don't. Ryan tryied to kill himself last week...and I don't know...i guess i wans't fucking good enough for him. I have nothing to look forward to. I'm always crying and was gunna overdose on pills..but that's just stupid. No one is ever gunna love me ever again....I don't know what to do. I fucking hate this life....i wish steve was here. I don't like him the way i did 3 years ago...but i need someone to let me cry in them. I'm gunna be alone forever. However long that is. I hate it. Shoot me.
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