 |
|||||||||||||
 |
|
 |
|||||||||||
 |
 |
||||||||||||
There’s been a lot of drama running round these parts lately, I don’t even know the half of it so I'm not going to sit here and preach or pretend that I know what the hell is going on but I am going to make a few generally generic statements. Emotional pain is worse then physical pain kids. a scar, a cut, a scrape heal in a matter of time and easily in most cases. However a emotional rift, a stab in the back, a few harsh words from a loved one, whatever the case maybe...uh don't. They take an uber amount of time, and to be honest are never completely gone... ever. You get over them you move on, maybe even forget about them for a bit but someday/somehow they'll resurface. Love is one of the ...fuck it love is the only cause of emotional pain if you didn't love the person in some form or fashion then you wouldn't give a rats butt what they thought about you, said, or did. Love according to Dictionary (dot) com:: A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. What does that really mean though? People (myself included) on occasion say that word at the drop of a hat, how can..a word signify in any means the feeling of love? I don't just mean for your boyfriend/girlfriend/hubby/wifey I mean..in general. Any type of love...Why do people feel the need to hear it? to say it? Don’t actions speak louder then words..'specially in a case like this? How easy is it to say something and not mean it? Easier then anything else in the world.. But to show someone.. Admiration and respect, to remember the little things isn't...better then hearing "I love you"?...it is a wonderful thing to hear yes but just to hear it and not see it, how can it mean anything? So So you think you can tell heaven from hell? Blue skies from pain, can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail a smile from a veil do you think you can tell did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts Sometimes I'll lay in bed at night with this incisive fear, of ..."Armageddon". It’s stupid I know but I do... I just lay there knowing the lords going to come and I'm going straight to hell, be left behind. Which strikes me as funny, actually since I'm not even sure what I believe as far as religion is concerned. I am well read in the bible though; know its stories and what not. So maybe that’s why I fear. Since I have doubts in my mind... aren't sure what I believe ...and what not and since I was taught that, that was wrong that you should go blindly into faith unquestioning in your reverie for god...that I have somehow manifested that into equaling that I was hell bound. I think maybe I'm dead on the inside, that I'm not happy with myself ... and that’s why people..dont want to be around me..when they are I try so hard to impress them to get them to like me that it comes out..wrong. I come off as this whore or hyperactive nitwit. Out of the majority of the friends I do have 99.5 of them are of the male variety. I think I need that. Acceptance from a man...to be wanted (not..just sexually). I always end up falling for one or two of them. Get jealous when they hang around other chicks, even if they're not the ones I have the crush on its just "mine away!". I know I do it...but I don’t know why... I'm attention hungry its sad but its true...its like "NOW DAMNIT IM HERE CUDDLE ME!" or some shit...thinking about taking a small hiatus from people for awhile maybe...just get my ass straightened out. I want to be treated like an adult like someone mature yet...I act like I do pfft great thinking Trach-y. We began talking about love. “How love is born,” said Alehin, “why Pelagea does not love somebody more like herself in her spiritual and external qualities, and why she fell in love with Nikanor, that ugly snout—we all call him ‘The Snout’—how far questions of personal happiness are of consequence in love—all that is unknown; one can take what view ones likes of it. So far only one incontestable truth has been uttered about love: ‘This is a great mystery.’ Everything else that has been written or said about love is not a conclusion, but only a statement of questions which have remained unanswered. The explanation which would seem to fit one case does not apply in a dozen others, and the very best thing, to my mind, would be to explain every case individually without attempting to generalize. We ought, as the doctors say, to individualize each case.” So many thoughts running through my head so many possibilities.. eh someone needs to come over here and keep me company...::shifts::... Post a comment in response: |
| © 2002-2008. Blurty Journal. All rights reserved. |