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Apocalypse please... WOO HOO! I've got FAMILY! No offense or anything, BUT I'VE FUCKING DEALT WITH YOU AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY FOR 17 FUCKING YEARS, I THINK I NEED SOME TIME OFF!!!!! Yes, some of my friends smoke pot. I don't. Yes, some of my friends drink, A LOT. I don't. Yes, some of my friends go around fucking without a jimmy hat and end up with kids. I DON'T. Because I know the repercussions of some of these offenses. You know what else I don't do? I don't smoke crack. I don't whore myself out to random men. I DON'T SMOKE CRACK!!!! That alone is fucking enough!! But, my parents feel the need to limit my friends, feeling that some of them are, get this, a bad influence on me. It's like I'm still 4. Monkey see, Monkey do. Oops, Abe smoked a bowl. Now I gotta get me some of that shit! Doesn't work like that folks. I make my own choices, unless my parents give me my own opinions and orders. If I wanted to, I would be out every night smoking weed. I would be out smoking crack if I wanted to. I could, in theory, if I wanted to, be whoring myself out to men on the street for two dollars. BUT I DON'T. You know why? CUZ I CHOOSE NOT TO. Now, my parents said they'd let me do more if I would just give them the truth. Here's an almost perfect description of that conversation: ME: Hey mom, I'm gonna go with Abe and fuck any chick that will, drunk or not. Then, we are gonna go back to his apartment, cuz he lives on his own (did I mention he's a pot head? Yea, a big one) and shoot stuff with a BB gun from his balcony. Then maybe, we will drive to Denny's at like three in the morning and get something to eat. Hopefully Abe won't get pulled over, cuz he's gonna be REALLY fucking drunk by then. MOM: *passes out* DAD: *hand cuffs corey to the toilet in the bathroom and proceeds to smash his cell phone with a hammer.* See? Isn't that exactly what you thought would happen. Cuz it's what I thought was gonna happen. God I love knowing how the soap operas are going to unfold. Lying is absolutely necessary. ABSOLUTELY, DON'T EVEN TRY TO ARGUE GODDAMMIT. With my parents, the truth would floor them. It might get me sent to live with my aunt, 30 miles away, or my uncle, 1500 miles away. As of right now, they know, probably about 45% of the truth of my life. Lying is necessary. I would never be allowed out of the house if I didn't lie. "You could always try being good, and doing wholesome things that meet with the good old christian values.." Two reasons I can't do something good. 1: I'M NOT FUCKING CHRISTIAN. I DON'T FOLLOW THE VALUES SET BY RELIGIOUS GROUPS, AND THAT'S WHY A FUCKING AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION OUTLAWING GAY MARRAIGE IS BULLSHIT. 2. Good = not fun. Do you know how fucking boring ICE SKATING got? How about bowling? Or maybe I could go and dick around at the mall till nine, then come home? NO. NO NO NO NO. Fuckers at the mall piss me off more than Maximum Security Household does. I want to go and crash at my friends house and not come home because they were passed out in a drunken stupor. I want to shoot shit from a balcony with a BB gun. I want to get yanked out of a car because the driver was swerving in the Target parking lot after leaving Denny's. And for fuck's sake, I want to have sex without trying to hide it from my parents. I want to look them in the eyes and say "I'm gonna go fuck, I have condoms, I'll see you in the morning." And then, maybe if I have some time left, I'll fuck again, and then go to denny's to have some fucking fried mozzarella. But I can't. Because my parents have it in their head that I am not responsible enough to take care of my affairs, sexual, and non. FUCK YOU AND BULLSHIT. Post a comment in response: |
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