omniscient being (johnbot) wrote, @ 2003-05-07 04:34:00

Hi, I'm John.
Ruts suck.

I have been wondering a lot lately, what has been hanging over me so. What it always seems to come back to is my job. My, excuse my french freedom, fucking job. Okay, now I've gotten a reference to that moronic "freedom" idea out. Please excuse me, I've not been around for awhile, so I think it's fair I get a pass for just the once.

It seems as if AT&T is doing everything it can to make life miserable. I don't even want to start with what they're up to, but it really seems as if they're trying to make us quit. I can't stand working, and I know that most people can't (as Gretchen reminded me on the phone tonight, a lot of people have worse jobs, herself included), but I have really gotten to the end of my rope. I wake up five days a week around 1 pm, go to work, get home after 11, and there's my day. I like being able to stay up late, but there is something about the night that has taken all the life out of me. I don't do anything. I don't even go on AIM or update my journal anymore, and I'm sitting in front of a bloody computer.

I believe this very well also has a lot to do with the fact that I went without a computer of my own for nearly six months, and got out of a lot of old habits, but I can't blame that for everything. And I've had since late January to get used to having a decent, operable computer to my self, too. Not only that, but I'm not really keeping in touch with a lot of IRL friends either. Garett drags me out to do something at least once a month, but he's the only one who's been really persistent. I went to his birthday party the other night, and a lot of old friends seemed really happy to see me (frighteningly, there were one or two people I don't ever recall knowing, who I assume had been casual acquaintences, but it disturbs me that they can remember me and not vice versa), which seems odd for some reason. I'm not really all that exciting.

Anyway, given that I don't think any other company is foolish enough to hire me, I'm eyeing a transfer opportunity to another department (Comcast Internet tech). It'd be similar to what I'm doing now (and perhaps Rik will think I'm nuts for going after what is essentially his old job with the former ATTBI folks), but it'd be a change, and I desperately need that right now. The only thing I'd really regret is losing my supervisor, who is about the best damned supervisor in the world. But I can't sit around here forever. I'd much rather win the lottery, but this seems a much more likley idea. What do you people think? Those of you who haven't given up on ever hearing from me again, that is.. ;)

I guess there was, or is more to say, but I can't get anything else out tonight. It should be enough that I'm alive, and still have typing fingers. Maybe I'll speak again someday soon.

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