| Current mood: |  lonely |
| Current music: | Let You Down -- Three Days Grace |
i will let you down when you finally trust me, finally believe in me......
oh dear god.
i feel like shit.
does katie really like me?
she was sitting with me this morning, and we talked some, but i think she only likes to talk to me to pass time. cuz uh...she gave me soem great advice. she told me to be myself, and to not let anyone else try to run my life, which is waht i've been doing my whole life.......
so uhh.....yeah.
then i asked her for some advice. me pregunto a katie que mi novio es mi amigo mejor y no quiero ser la novia de el, por que me gusta un otro chico. la problema es que eso chico no le gusta a mi, y estan el amigo mejor de mi "novio". no se que voy a hacer.
she told me to get over it. nice, aint it?
then a friend of hers came over and she just left me all by myself, and she didnt even say good bye. does she really want to be my friend? or does she just need someone to pass the time by with?
i feel like shit. i really want to die.....and i'm not just saying that like everyone thinks I am....
i'm making terrible grades. i'm a terrible person.
i owe six dollars in total.
i lost my CD player.
i'm getting pissed at some of my friends.
i mean, really really pissed.
they just don't understand....they just don't get it.....and they never will.
no one gets me. and if someoen does, pease step forward and explain myself to me, for i have no idea what i'm all about.
*sigh* some people are just really pissing me off, and apparently, I'm really pissing off some people.
i pissed off travis.
i pissed off eric.
i pissed off bianka.
i pissed off liz.
i pissed off katie.
i pissed off everyone.
and seemingly, i get pissed at everyone too.
i have serious issues.
but why cant i tell anyone whats really wrong with me?
i want to, but every time i try to open up, it never comes out in a sense that i want it to, and i always open up to the wrong ppl.....
all that comes out of my mouth is babbles, while everyone else can speak fluently. the problem is, i can't understand them. and they claim that they speak my own language, and they can understand it, but do they?
do they?
DO THEY???
god. i've given up on some of my friends. i guess i just pushed too much. so much to the point where they don't want anything to do with me. so i give up. they win. they'll always win.
and i always lose.....
what is happiness? where does it some from? whats it like, to be happy? will i ever get to be happy?
is there evewn such a thing as happiness?
and what about freedom?
dont get me started on freedom.
well, i'm gone.
sorry for pissing you off, and sorry that i got pissed at you,
jessica.
more commonly known as:
no one.
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