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James Givens (jjisaturtle) wrote,
@ 2005-11-02 01:47:00
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    Current mood:cold
    Current music:Incubus-1984

    Tireddd
    I know that nobody reads these anymore. I guess it's the end of an era. But for some reason I felt like I needed to update. I have been going through a lot of this torture lately and I figured out what it was the other day. I have a very hard time letting go and forgiving other people. I've known it for awhile, but I never really figured out why it was getting to me so bad. I was reading some stuff the other day, and that old verse from the Lords Prayer hit me like a brick. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. I mean, it's black and white, ya know...For some reason it never hit me until I realized that my willingness to live with these hard feelings is what is keeping me from being happy. If I can't forgive someone else, God can't forgive me, and then I'm kind of doubly screwed. In the end I'm just getting the bad end of both deals.

    Class tonight was awful. I knew going into the class that it would be graphic and hard to deal with, but I didn't realize I would get physically sick. Some of these criminals do things that are just too horrible to mention. Seeing pictures and watching video of it all, I felt sick. Every girl was crying, a few people walked out. I had to stomach it...I knew if I walked outside I was going to throw up. I'm curious as to why I'm choosing this path, but I know it's for a good reason. I'll take it as far as it can go.

    I'm actually talking to Brad online right now. I haven't done that in awhile. He's a good boy. I hope he can go to Michelle's formal. She's always glowing whenever he's around. And seeing her happy is a fantastic thing. I suggest you all get a glimpse of that :p Anywho, I'm tired...I'm gonna go to bed.



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