Won a new project today worth US$30K. This month has been pretty decent, with gross revenue from new big projects totaling US$75K so far, plus a steady stream of revenue from the B-fund.
Not anything I can share with him of course. He'd be upset. Because I am earning all this revenue for my boss; and he sees my boss as his arch-rival.
I don't blame him, at all. In fact, I sympathise, empathise, hate the dreadful position I am in, am wracked with guilt most days about working for his rival and not being able to do more for him. As I said before, it feels like I am sleeping with the enemy.
But what can I do? I don't want to quit this job. It's good going - stuff a lot of people in my profession can only dream of doing, and I have a great working relationship with my partners. Money is fine as I get to put away a good sum every month. Let's put it this way, I wouldn't move to another Big 4 even if it gave me another HK$20K a month. I honestly think I have a shot at making partner myself here, someday.
But because of this god awful relationship between me, him and my boss, I feel really inhibited. I don't know how people view me. Already, I know people keep me at arm's length because of my relationship, and some partners will probably not use me because of it. At home, I can't shout my wins from the rooftops, much as I want to share my joy with him. I really try my best to listen to his problems, but it's tough because he views everything I do at work for my boss as harmful to him.
It feels like I have no one to talk to at all about winning the losing end.
It's nice to be back on blurty. Having googled myself several times, this blog didn't turn up. It's nice to find my voice again.
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