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jesse (jessecolburn) wrote,
@ 2002-11-21 22:46:00
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    Current music:John Rzeznik - I'm Still Here

    yeah.. whatever.
    :mumbles:I knew I should've just.. stayed back not get into anything :sigh:...

    I really feel like there is one thing to do.. and I don't know. I just feel like its necessary for me to do it...

    Umm.. edit to this. I feel like shit, and I actually feel like a nothing. Yeah I fucked things up, I found out stuff, and now I'm backed away. I don't know why I am still here... I know I should've left with Mark, but I didn't want to, everything seemed to great and too good to be true.

    It's felt like I lost two friends, and again its my fault, I don't know what else I can do other than stay away and apologize about 500 x more. I mean what more can I do? And again I feel quite shitty that I can just stay in a bed and not ever move.

    I don't know what more else to say, I'm quite speechless, just full of I don't know. I don't want to get up at all... just leave me alone. I'll eventually be "okay" if not... I'll put on a fake face and walk around with such fake emotions.

    And I want a moment to be real,
    Wanna touch things I don't feel,
    Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
    And how can the world want me to change,
    They're the ones that stay the same.
    The don't know me,
    'Cause I'm not here.


    yeah so I've fucked things up, shoot me whatever...


    why do I even bother.. right?



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