|Current mood:|| crushed|
|Current music:||Brand New "Sic Transit Gloria.. Glory Fades"|
ITS ALL IN YOUR GOODBYES.
Tuesday after school I went to the library and got on myspace and AIM, and Kyle's sn was on, which was really odd. Then I checked my messages and there was a message from him. I IMed his sn and it was him!! I was so grateful that hes out and he still wants to date and such. We both agreed that we wanted to hang out so I walked up there later and we both sat around like old times. As soon as I sat down he kissed me on my forehead and told me he missed me. Later, he decided that he wanted to get drunk so we went to the liquor store and he got some cheap vodka, but it works. He said that he wanted us to be together and I said "so do I" because I truly do. I told him that I think I was falling in love with him, and later that night he told me "he loved me." I told him I loved him too and then we both layed down together, but we didnt go to sleep before having sex of course =/ In the middle of the night, he took the covers and I was forced to sleep with my covers because whenever I tried to get some of it back, hed always grab it. We woke up at about 12-1 and it was rainy so it was pretty boring. Hes always in a bad mood when its raining. We layed around and watched TV. It seemed like he was ignoring me and such. At about 5, he took me home and I asked him if he still wanted to be with me and he said "yeah" but Im not so sure if I believe it. He hugged me goodbye, but he didnt kiss me goodbye. Im so confused, and so hurt. I went home and cut a broken heart into my leg and my hand. One broken heart hidden, one showing. I seriously want to be with Kyle, but I cant take it anymore. Im so emotionally unstable. I definately wasnt ready for the "I love you" because now it doesnt mean anything to me and I dont think he meant it. I dont know what to do. In 3 more weeks, if hes still around, Ill stay with him, otherwise, Ill have a computer and I can go boy hunting.