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I decided to split my account into parts so that it is kinder to readers and less daunting for myself to complete. ;) After 7 days of speaking mandarin, another 2 excellent days of pure rest watching taiwan and HK dvd shows, and speaking only mandarin to C, I thought communicating in English would now elude me. Indeed, I realise now that it could be true that it is not easy to master both languages. After all, they are vastly different in styles. Yet, both can be so beautiful. Truly, sometimes, chinese words are few but ever so poetic and full of meaning that they evoke a feeling of sublime. Unfortunately, my tainted impression of mainland Chinese in 2008 has caused me to sneer at the Chinese language at times, and my standard has plunged all the way downwards. When people somehow assume that I can cheena and can speak good Mandarin, I smile to acknowledge it, yet secretly fear really having to speak it and reveal that my mandarin sucks. I cannot comprehend, once again, why some people can feel proud of being bad in the chinese language. Although at times this year, I felt like that too, but merely to cover up my feeling of inadequacy in the language. Anyway, the taiwan show I was watching was Cape No. 7, it is my favourite movie for now. How beautiful and romantic it is. *swoons* And I bought the dvd from Putien for S$2! And can watch it over and over again! hahaha Ok, back to the main topic (yuan gui zhen ti), I think I would like to have a closure by writing about my trip after a glorious 11-day break from work, before returning to that working life again tomorrow. Sigh. In fact, it is in a mere few hours' time from now. I so looked forward to reminiscing about the wonderful trip by sorting out those beautiful photos, and stringing together a light-hearted and cheeky video for my whole family and extended family. But, *heart breaks...* I'm really cursed in this, I feel. This is the 2nd time my memory card vanished on 2 consecutive overseas trips. SIGH. The 1st time, I was robbed of it. The 2nd, it completely vanished from my usual safe-keeping place in my wallet. *weeps* I am still awaiting a miracle that it would pop up by itself somewhere, somehow. Day 1 Being forever gung-ho in not needing sleep, I hung out with my choir after a glorious day of carolling at the old folks home in a pub till midnight. I had not packed, and my flight was at 6 am. I stayed up throughout the night and calmly packed what I needed. Thereafter, there was 5 mins left to sleep before I was supposed to wake up for the airport. However, having everything well-planned, I was ready to go timely. I have prayed pretty hard for my family members to really have a refreshing and enjoyable time on this trip, as well as for us to bond closer. After all, I was going on a family trip once again without my younger bro, whom Im close to and enjoy talking to. I was still in my irritable tone on the journey to the airport and when we checked in our luggage. After that, I called my cousin G and we went to find them at the kopitiam. My mood swung in the opposite direction when I saw my extended family and cousin G. G warmly commented on my thin clothing and how she would lend her jacket to me. Then she passed her additional eggs and kaya toast to us. Such a darling, isn't she, I think the whole world would dote on her. Which, by the way, was true throughout the trip. In fact, part of the reason why I drifted apart from G in our teens and young adulthood is cos of my feeling of inadequacy compared to her in these social skills. She is forever floating from one person to another and playing with this person's kid or another. And I feel I am simply not born like that. However, at this trip, I realised I can be fond of her and yet be able to control these feelings of envy. Many a time during this trip, I was tested in this. She was forever dressed up like a movie star, saying words of concern to everyone, being adorable, giving her opinions on matters. People ask for her opinions, break into applause when she sings, give her better gifts, etc etc. Human beings are not immune to jealousy. A couple of times, I noticed that even she cringed when, 1) her mom proclaimed to us if I were to bother to dress up and make up like her, I would definitely be prettier than her, 2) the audience melted at my ktv song and broke into a thunderous applause at the end of it. She immediately sang her heart out at her next song (and it sounded good). Anyway, this time round, I mastered the skill and truly saw her as my sis. Well, Im happy for her that she has her many gifts, and I am less bothered when people acknowledge her gifts and not mine, as I know I am not prone to revealing them. I know who I am, and i just want to be comfortable being me and giving me to others around. Be it cracking jokes, lending a listening ear, etc etc. I enjoy her genuine and compassionate nature, and learnt a few things from her. It was to the extent that I could even poke fun at her for getting her amount of attention. Anyway, this trip rekindled our friendship. We had a great time catching up on the flight, and talked non-stop. Before long, she knew all the people in my life and scanned through all the potential guys I know. Haha. We also managed to catch up on our much needed sleep, so it was a good balance. In a way, I was happy to leave my current life for a while to go to a faraway land. It was heartwarming to have the blessings of someone. But I would really prefer to simply leave whoever behind and go off. So that I could experience myself again, and get in touch with things like my family who are truly important. It was a crowded reunion with hordes of China relatives rushing to and gushing after us at the airport. In no time, we were at the place where we were to spend our 7 days. There was no lift and we had to carry our luggage and climb up 7 storeys. It sounds horrible, but we did that daily and even got used to it. We even concluded to not have lift is good cos it forces people to exercise. Before long, G and I were getting abit restless in the house as the relatives continued the elated welcomes and fussing and catching up. 10 mins after sitting down on the sofa, we were thinking of what else we young people could do. G being ever vocal indicated she wanted to go shopping then and she was getting bored. They then arranged for us 'kids' to go with pretty XJ and handsome A Li to the supermarket after dinner. It was fun talking to the young China people. A Li and I have some chemistry and I enjoyed talking to him. My other guy cousin ZP is only 13, but I realised he is such a young, articulate gentleman. Such a delight to talk to. After strategising over sleeping places, I decided to assert my rights abit and insisted that I slept with mom downstairs and not alone at the attic. Dad then took the attic. However, I was booted out of my mom's room by my aunt, and ended up sleeping with G. Well, I realised I was not comfortable sleeping with someone else, as I needed some privacy and wanted to do my bedtime and morning prayers, yet did not want her to catch me praying. Wonder whether it would be the same if it was with someone else. Day 2 to be continued... Post a comment in response: |
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