|Current mood:|| crushed|
|Current music:||A rush of blood to the head--Coldplay|
It feels like I haven't written in here forever. It's just I feel so removed from everything. I'm depressed.... really depressed. I hate my life more than anything. Everyday, the more I think about it, the more I realize that my life is shit. It feels as if the whole world had turned against me, and is trying to make my life as brutally painful as possible. Sadly it's probably my fault. My fault for being fat, my fault for being a bad daughter, my fault for being a bad friend, my fault for being stupid. My fault. My fault. My fault.
I wish I could make it all disappear, or that I myself could just disappear. I've been thinking a lot about death. Entertaining it maybe? I just hate being this fake and happy person on the outside, all jokes and smiles, while on the inside I ache. I'm tired. I'm just so bloody tired.
And that's what is new in my life.
No one said it was pretty.