|Current mood:|| blah|
I am feeling a bit better now, well at least not so depressed. I went for a walk by myself. I sat under a tree, smoked and wrote in my long neglected journal. It's sad how my journals all say that things have got to change, and yet they never do.... at least not for the better. I came home, not feeling much better. I cried. My family noticed, they asked me why I was so upset. Really I didn't have a reason, I just was. I was sick of life, of friends, of feeling let down and alone. I was sick of feeling like I come second in people's lives.... I mean I'm sure I do to a lot of people, but I hate feeling that and knowing that.
But I am feeling a little little better. I love my sister, she can be a major bitch sometimes, but when she knows I am feeling like shit, she will just come sit by me and hold me, telling me things will be okay. True she doesn't know that things might not be okay, but it's nice to hear those words coming from someone that you know loves you, even when you make yourself hard to love.
I have a job interview today.... well in about 10 hours. I don't think I'll get it.... I have no experience in the area, there is only one position, and lots of people getting interviewed. It's okay though, I will stick to my shitty yet comfortable job working retail. I should get to bed.... I'm tired, it's been a long day.