There's a wonderful service of our state governments called the Department of Social Services or DSS. DSS is in every state but the one in South Carolina is the best of them all, bar none. Family social service is their mission plan and they do such a bang up job! Why, in one recent case, a stupid girl was caught doing some drugs and so they took away her 6 month old son. Except on the paperwork, they said he was 9 months old, and so stuffed him full of solid foods and decided he was undernourished because he had no teeth. They are so smart, I bet they all have degrees from an accredited correspondence course in basket weaveing (for teams). But their genius is not limited to simple oversights of age, oh no, they also had the wrong father written on the child's paper work and so when the father, who is clean, came to collect his son, they told him he wasn't the father and then proceeded to explain to him why he should doubt the girl's claim that he was! Awesome! And of course, since all babies thrive in the system, instead of placing him in the loving arms of his grandmother, who had pretty much raised him anyway, they bounced him from foster home to foster home until he developed an acute respiratory problem, but oh, it was the mother's fault because she should have known he would get sick!
What I like about the South Carolina DSS
1. The claim on their website that they are there for the sake of the entire family may not be true but it is a nice thing to say.
2. There seems to be no avenue to lodge a complaint or report of abuse of power of a case worker or county office. Who needs complaints? Complaints are so negative and we need more positive in the world.
3. They all know the new math. They must, because it is now nine months between January and the following June.
4. They are so busy protecting the family structure that they can't be bothered with pesky details like six months old shouldn't eat apples and peanut butter. It can only make them stronger.
5. DSS stands for Department of Social Services. And SS stood for something too but I can't remember. Acronyms are so cool.
6. They are careful to make examples out of poor white kids so no one can charge them with racial bias. That is so smart, all branches of the government should start that.
7. They tried to make a young man doubt that his son was really his son and implied that his girlfriend was a whore. More young men's minds need to be fucked with like that.
8. They can easily exploit people who can't hire big lawyers and get them to do whatever they want no matter how stupid and autocratic. Abuse of Power kicks ass!
9. They aren't concerned with staffing their offices with well educated and compassionate people. There is no room in any government office for the educated or the compassionate. Sig Heil!
10. DSS plays god with people's lives. How cool is that?
I am sure the South Carolina Department of Social Services has email, but they oddly neglect to list it on their website. So here is the phone number of the State Director so anyone reading this can call them and tell Dr. Hayes herself what a bang up job she is doing! (803) 898-7360.
The Made Up Word of the day:
Edumacation (noun): The highest level of education the South Carolina DSS requires. Don't call me ignorant. I got an edumacation in social work.
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