So.. last night turned out a lot differently than I thought it was gonna be. At first I was just pissed at Benj for actin' all God-like and saying somethin' to me that was way outta line. Turned out that the problem ran a lot deeper than Benj just bein' an ass. So. He vented to me, got everythin' off his chest..
Fuck, I couldn't even see it.
You know, I really haven't been that great of a brother. Here I thought the reason for me and Benj fallin' apart is because he didn't wanna share what was going on with him. But the real problem was me. Me never bein' here when he wanted to vent or he needed help or advice or whatever. I don't know if it's just bad timing or if I really do suck at bein' a brother to him. Either way I really felt like a piece of shit after everything he told me. If you've ever wanted to just clap her hands and put everythin' back together, that's how I felt. I know it's not gonna be easy to get me and Benj back to the way we were. I gotta start payin' attention and not letting everything take over and get in the way of him and me.
Not that that's really gonna fix everything. There's so much damage here that it's gonna take a lot of work to fix. I'm not even gonna pretend to know what every problem is or how to fix them, because I don't. Benj may have vented to me and got a lot off his chest last night, but I'm pretty sure that ain't the only thing that's been buggin' him about me. I'm gonna take care of it though.. I am.. I don't like lettin' my brother down like that.
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