I'm Still Here
Things haven't changed, and they have changed at the same time. My relationship with Christopher has changed as far as he is concerned, but not with me. I just figure he doesn't know how to love the way I love him, or is afraid of the love as true and pure as this handed to him. I've decided to love him in the same way, only telling him that it is the way he wants it. It is a gamble I know. My heart is out on the limb, but he has't sawed my limb off, so something must be working here.
Now that he thinks I have let go, it appears he has started to hold on tighter to me. I have found a comfort level with him which allows me to fall asleep at his house sometimes too easily. I've found myself waking up in his bed, when the reality was I should have been sleeping at home in my bed. Waking up in his bed, in his arms is the best way for me to start the day, and a way in which I would love to wake up everyday.
I feel that he is enjoying my presence more now that he feel less pressure to marry me. I feel him growing closer to me, even closer than he originally stated that he want to get.
I feel that we are doing very well at this moment in time.
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