My Heart Speaks (iwishyouknew) wrote, @ 2004-12-13 20:47:00

Long time no update
For the past few days, I have been serioulsy ill. Somehow I aquired fifth's disease, otherwise known as the Parvo virus. I don't recall ever being so sick in my entire life. I have been told that I was delirious. I don't recall much of the past few days, except for the whining parts. My joints (all of them) hurt like hell and were swollen to boot. You know what is funny is you can clearly see the layout of the disease process in my Lj. I few days back I was complaining of a rash that just appeared, then I was complaining about my hands and how horribly they hurt.

Now that it appears that I am past the worst of this illness. I have so much to be thankful for. While my life never was in jeopardy, it felt like it was. I really thought that at any moment, I was going to be a gonner, and for whatever reason, I didn't care. My not caring isn't really like me at all. Only when I am seriously ill do I not care if I continue to live or not. Now that I am well, I shudder at the thought of my not being around to raise my kiddos. I cringe with the thought that someone other than myself might raise my children. I have to live long enough to get the me grown and standing on their own two feet.

Just thinking that I didn't care if I saw this Christmas season through to the end, makes me sad, and fills me with a renewed spirit of the season. I know that not all of my friends celebrate Christmas, but for some reason this time of year brings out a fellowship of the community that we all can share in. I guess this is what I love about this time of year. I love that we may not all share the same religion, but we all share the same warmth and reguard for this time of year. We all seem to love walking down the street and marvel at the beauty in the decorations. I think that it is something in the lights, that makes us all children once again.

There is something so innocent and pure in the way children view this holiday season. Sometimes I find it sad that parents don't harbor their children's innocent's. I feel sad that parents rush children through their youth, and rush them into adulthood. Don't we have enough time to be adults?

So in keeping with the holiday spirit, might I share a childs perspective?

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