I realize now that I need to stop worrying and stressing myself out cause on Tuesday I had my first nosebleed in about 4 years which my have been caused by the house being dry or the stress that I have been going through. I hope it doesn't happen again. I am still debating whether I should go to that wedding on Aug 21 or not. Part of me says I should go cause it can be a good way to meet people and I have everything to gain and nothing to lose but another part of me says not to go cause I would look like a complete idiot going by myself when pretty well everyone else going are couples, people dating or old people. Another reason why I may not go is cause I there is no one for me to ask out. That is one thing I truly need to work on is the fear of asking a woman out. Yes I know I can be shy at times which can be hard to believe but it is very true about me. Good thing is that I am not as shy as I used to be which it's just usually when I meet people for the first time when I tend to be quiet and shy. One thing I have learned to do is just be myself around others. When I look at my sister who is married and has a kid there is a part of me that wishes that it was me instead. Am I jealous of my sister or any of my friends who are either going out with someone or is married? Answer is no cause I am very happy for them and wish them nothing but the best. I know my time will come soon enough. The BBQ party on Thursday was good which the weather was very nice and warm which I would love to do again in the future. Dave and Mike from work came over along with Mike's wife. Afterward we went to Jessica's house which we walked about 25 minutes to the lake to watch the fireworks which were awesome. That night I wore a plain blue t-shirt and pants which I looked good in. I plan on buying a few more plain t-shirts cause I liked the way it looked on me which made me feel great about myself.