<Insert Name Here> (ishallbrnforyou) wrote, @ 2009-04-07 19:48:00

breakdown.
you can definitely call it that.. it's ugly and horrible. and I'm sorry you're probably not an asshole but all I wanted was for someone to be nice to me and you did and then you decided to call me back and tell me how stupid I was for letting myself get so stressed and when I was hurt you just let go - whatever.
And that just threw it.
And the pain in mmy side that always comes when I'm super stressed started up again and I tried to sleep but that just made it worse. That just made me so lonely and scared waking up alone in the dark. And now I'm balling and I can't control myself. Balling and screaming at the top of my lungs how much I hate you. But I don't hate you, I'm just hoping that you'll hear me somehow and rush over here and fling open the door and make me feel better. But that's not going to happen. And so I will just continue to choke on my wails because my nose is too stuffed to breath from or to even clear my throat well enough to get air to pass. I'm dripping salty screams onto my laptop - it's a mess. I just can't be alone
but I can't call you either because it's not going to help any, you wont understand or even try because all youll hear is a sobbing ren and really. Who wants to deal with that head?
My head hurts so much I just want someone
really anyone
to be here for me now. But no one will come. not a soul because everyone's busy
out on their own having fun. They can't hear my disturbance and it's probably for the better
i want to die.

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