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Well, I guess I will catch up on this diary while I am here instead of trying to come back to it later. I hope everyone had a great Easter. I am not sure where I left off in my last entry. I am sure I mentioned the new man in the chorus that seems to have taken an interest in me. He had asked me out a couple of weeks ago while we were at the club together. But he had to postpone the movie night since he had to pick up his kids a night early. I was ok with that. It is good his kids take such a high priority in his life. So last Tuesday night we decided to go out Thursday night to Greek Town for dinner and then to watch the Red Wings on Joe Vision at Joe Louis Arena. Unfortunately we were both incorrect on the night of the game, it was Wednesday night instead. So being a guy, (sorry guys, I just figure this is a "guy thing") he thought that ment we would not go out at all Thursday night. I personally thought it was ok, we would just do the dinner thing. We ended up talking on the phone for an hour Thursday night instead as he was very tired and not feeling real great. Tuesday night before then tho was very interesting. I think "He" must have read my other diary. "He" seemed very awear of this budding new friendship with this new man. "He" seemed to try and manopolize a lot of my time at chorus practice. (I will call the new guy R) Then at the club, "he" didn't miss a move R and I made all night. Even came down to our end of the table to sit next to R. When R and I played pool, "he" watched us from across the room and even came over and played the winner, which R lost, (I found out later he lost on purpose) and "he" and I played a game. When the game was over, I asked "him" if "he" was going home and "he" said yes, unless "he" were to get distracted on "his" way to "his" truck. I told "him" very nicely how much I had enjoyed the game and to drive home saftely. Then R and I played two more games and went home. R called me Friday night and we met a mile or so up the road from my house at CJ's. A local brewery to sit and talk. We talked about a lot, for over 6 hours. We got into a conversation reguarding our friendship. Things seem to have taken a little turn. I know that when he asked me to the movies a few weeks ago, it was for a "date". But now he seems much more interested in being "best friends" than anything else. Altho I am disappointed, not heartbroken. I find myself very much at ease with him and was able to totally open up to him. But he proved himself very perceptive. And with all we talked about, I decided that his change of attitude has a lot to do with "Him". R told me that he observed "him" all evening. That "he" seemed almost threatened by R's presence around me. I told R that I was concerned that "he" was wavering a little again in "his"need of me. That maybe "he" is a bit jealous and is not sure how to handle me showing attention to another man. R shook his head and told me that "he" is wavering A LOT! R said, "In fact, as a man I would say that when "he" was shooting pool with us, "he" was actually Marking "his" Territory." R did not feel that our new friendship was threatened. I disagree. I think that from what I heard, R is not willing to get into the middle of what he feels is not over. R and I talked very openly about my past with "Him." R is not shocked and told me that what happened is ok. We are both adults, made an adult decision. But that I need to be very careful or R is afraid that "he" will just hurt me again. R told me that it is obvious to him, that "he" is only concerned for "his" own loss here. That if R becomes too close to me, some of my attentions for "him" will lessen. R thinks that "he" does not know how to appreciate me. But R told me that if "he" hurts me again, R will be there to pick me up, dust me off and set me back on my feet. R says he can appreciate me, even if "he" cannot. Our evening ended well. I was truely hoping for a different kind of relationship. But I will be happy with this if it is all we have. He is nice, makes me feel good and I think he will be able to keep me grounded. He told me that he would like it a lot if we could hang out together and enjoy the friendship with no pressure or expectations of each other. All except the normal stuff, respect of each other's feelings, consideration, and deffinately time spent together. Well, the next convention is upon us. My son and I will leave for Lansing Thursday morning to help "him" and another guy from chorus set up the barbershop shop. I have to haul a barber chair in my new truck. See, you buy a new truck and people start volunteering you immediately. I don't mind tho. I am looking forward to this weekend. Even tho there is no way it will be as exciting as the convention in Oct. When "he" and I were joined at the hip. And "he" will even have his wife with him this time. I was hoping for R and I to be able to have lots of fun this weekend. But obviously it will not be the fun I was hoping for. Instead we figured we would share in a drink or two and just hang out. That will have to be good enough. Well, it is rainy today, yuky. But that is spring. I am off work all week. Been off since Thursday afternoon. Go back next monday. I love Spring Break. Post a comment in response: |
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