|Current mood:|| melancholy|
|Current music:||anything from the Postal Service|
The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
nick seems to be busy on a constant basis. and it's not even with the band(which i never really had that big of a problem with), it's his life in general. i think i've finally confirmed he's still with me to get one thing....
and that hurts so badly. i love him so fucking much, but i don't think i'm worth his time. it's just difficult trying to figure out what to do with him.
adam.... it's so confusing. i don't understand him anymore. sometimes, i swear he does things just to hurt me and then say he didn't mean to so i feel stupid and forgive him. as much as i want to believe he is still the amazing guy i fell in love with, he's not. he's changed a lot too. i think once you get around "the crew" for too long now, you just become an asshole. there are a few awesome guys, but only very few. like matt...
yeah, maybe i'm developing a slight crush on him. he's so awesome and funny. ....and yeah he's hott as fuck. but, it's like why am i feeling this way toward him.
i love nick so fucking much and am trying to be supporting and understanding, but it's past being that. now, it just kinda feels like he's using me... wow. i answered my own question.
i don't even know.
i guess i should just suck it up and keep my mouth shut.
i mean, i'm only good for one thing right?