| Current mood: |  distressed |
| Current music: | "Sincerly Me" by A New Found Glory |
WHERE YOU WANT TO BE...
things have gotten progressively worse. nick and i talk to/see each other maybe once a week. things are just getting really hard and it's been getting to me. he's had plenty of opportunities to talk to me, just to say hello or something, but he chooses not to. and he's been using me as an excuse for when he can't or doesn't want to see someone. and he got made at me today bc i've been talking to adam. it's knida like, well who else am i supposed to talk to. i still love adam and he's my best friend. but no, bc i've been spending SO MUCH time with him, i'm cheating or something. jesus. i don't know how to handle this. i don't mind the whole band thing. i knew before we started dating that it would come first. but it's the fact HE is letting it rule his life. he's changed so much and i don't know what i should do. and sometimes i just feel like ashley doesn't want me to be her friend anymore. i don't know. it's just gotten weird. like we can only be best friends when she chooses. and since i missed a week or so of school, i've been busting my ass to keep my grades up. homes gotten ridiculous again. and my self esteem reached a new low i didn't even know existed. i really fucking hate my life at this point in time and i have no idea what i should do to make it better. no matter what, someone gets hurt but i don't know who those people should be. i don't want it to be anyone...
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