| Current mood: |  sad |
| Current music: | "There's No 'I' in Fuck You" by Walls of Jericho |
KISS ME AGAIN
shit is crazy.
i'm starting to feel like nick and i shouldn't be together at this point and time. i hate the fact that it seems like i'm so much stress for him. he needs to worry about the band and school, not me. those are much more important. i love him and he says he loves me too, but i just can't keep up with it all. it's more of a convienent relationship. i'm here for him whenever. and i know the fact that jimmy and health still hating me and everyone else still thinking adam and i did something is a big problem. it's all so fucking stupid. i can't believe no of them trusted or believed me. nick is all i ever wanted... so much for true friends and a trusting relationship. i fucking hate them so much. i just feel like i need to get away from these people and start fresh, because all they seem to be is more of a problem than help. and as of now, that includes adam. i just can't deal with it anymore. he's fuccked me over so many times. i don't see why i keep going back and trying to fix things; trying to remain friends. lately, it doesn't seem worth it anymore.
yeah.
that thing i thought was a crush was nothing. just physical attration. matt's hott, but a total bro. end.
hmmmm...
i had a chance to see grease this past saturday. the band was playing alley katz and i actually got a ride. grease got me in for free. he's so great. i wish he didn't live in florida. they are finishing up the tour and then taking about a three month break to finish up the next album. sooo that means i won't see him for a while. :womp: really, i don't know what it is. we are just so comfortable in each others company. we can sit and smile with each other in silence and be ok with that. well, that's how i feel. i mean, i'm getting my hopes up on this. he is in a band and he does travel everywhere. why would i be so special? exactly... i'm probably not. but something in me still wants to keep thinking i am. which kind of bothers me because i usually never do that. oh well. either way, he's still amazing.
shit.
head automatica is playing tonight. i wanted to see them so badly it hurts. that band is fucking amazing. at least i'm going to see the used and mcr:D and i'm riding with the ra whcih should be tight as fuck. taste of chaos... here we come.
so yeah. shit is crazy. i'm still lost. i know what i want to do but it is so hard to do. blah.
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