| Current mood: |  confused |
| Current music: | blah |
yup
well.. yet AGAIN another boring day .. this time it really sucks thou .. cause im not going out period unless i like take my dog for a walk or something .. lol .. well .. i've hunted down information about concerts i want to go too .. and some how i will go ! ... well . heres my musical goals ..
1.this saturday .. april 16th senses fail at the staircase .. 10 dollars
2. sunday .. april 17th stillbreed at the icebox ... 8 dollars ? i think .. lol
3. april 30th at the staircase .. the all american rejects .. 12 dollars
4.may 24th breaking benjamin!!!!!!!!<3 the electric factory in philadelphia .. 18.50
5.may 24th crossfade at starland ballroom sayreville nj 12 dollars ... not gunna happen =(
6. june 3rd the killers!!!!!!! wooooo... electric factory phildelphia 22 dollars...
lol well as u can see i want to go see 2 shows in the same day ... and they arent evn near eachother soo .. i dont see that one working out .. i'll probally just end up stickin with breaking ben bcus i fuckin love them .. but yeah .. anyways ..
neil texted me last night .. finally .. it would'd ben 1 week tomorrow without talking to him .. well .. technically i still havent talked to him bcus i didnt get his messages until this morning .. and he wasnt online when i tried to send him one back .. his first message was " I FUCKIN MISS U .. PLEASE SAY HI ? " ... i miss him too... but i dont no .. talking to everyone about my problems .. it kinda made me think that i should just move on .. everyone is telling me to do it .. but sometimes i dont no ifi have the courage to go on without talking to him and i no its bullshit but .. its just how i feel and i cant stand not being around him anymore ... 1 fucking year ,.... i dont think im ready to let him go yet .. i cant just throw it all down the drain because he moved away .. i mean .. its not our faults .. if he still lived down here we would still be together .. i no we would becus i woudlnt let him go ... i dont no what to do anymore .. i think if i do ever end up moving on then .. its not going to be for a long long time .. he moved away in september and im still chocked up about it all ...dont u think that if i was really ready to move on i wouldve done it already ... or maybe its the fact that me and him are holding on to our past and we dont wanna let eachother go .. i dont no .. maybe bcus were not involved with anyone else its making us think of eachother more than we actaully should be ... i just dont no .. i really need to talk to him in person b4 i jump to any conclusions ... i hope we can work something out and both be happy .. i cant keep on going on like this .. long distance releationships dont work out .. they never do .. he promised me a long time ago he would move back .. and i still have yet to see it .i mean .. i've seen him 3 times since he moved but .. thats just not enough .. 2 out of the 3 times i saw him it was for like an hour ... not even .. the other time it was over christams break so he was here for like 2 weeks .. but still in all .. its not enough to keep a releationship going .. right ?? basically .. if u still count what me and him have .. its going on a year and 3 months .. now thats a long time to be attached to one guy .. and .. i dont no what to do .. hes too far away to really have something .. but .. ahhh ... im just so confused ... maybe its really time to forget about what we had .. even though its deffenitly going to be one of the hardest things i'll ever have to do .. but .. what if theres nobody else out there who cares about me like he does ? IF THERES SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO CARES .. PLEASE LET ME NO .. I CAN USE IT RIGHT NOW .. i need to no ... i dont no why .. but i feel like my life would be nothing without his care and love .. and if no1 else can give it to me what would be the use of letting him go ? i dont no .. help me .. someone .. any advice .. please comment ....
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