|Current mood:|| cynical|
first of all ... what is it with these little 7th graders iming me attempting to act tough and waste my time ? espically at midnight .. its way passed their bed times ..
anyways .. i dont no what to do with liife anymore ..neil is never comming back .. my heart will never be back in my chest.. and my life will never be the same . all of my friends are slowly losing contact with me as the days go on. neil was my best friend .. and now .. it hurts just to hear his voice ... to hear his voice say another girls name... frankie ... i havent talked to her like at all over summer .. then i come to find out she moved to avoca and is no longer going to riverside ... aaron .. graduated ... now i guess living his own life thats too busy to include his old bestfriend and dosent bother to even call me anymore. Leah .. yea we still talk .. but now that shes dating jimmy .. schools back in .. and we both work all the time .. its like the only time we hang out is when shes with jimmy ... and we hardly talk.. becky and frankie are both workin now so i never see them .. and when their not workin there out doin somethin else ... i still see becky though as much as i could.. i dont no what to do anymore.. its like .. my whole world is crumbling and all i can do is sit back and watch. i have never felt or ben so alone in my whole life .. even in school .. or at work .. im surrounded by so many people .. but yet i have no one and everything is in slow motion.whats there left to do? i cry just writing about my problems .. im sick of feeling sorry for myself .. but i have no one to talk to. i want to run away ... i want to get away from this place and tell no one where im going .. start over. have a new life.i dont no .. im going to attempt to hang out with frankie tomorrow ... i'll force myself to wake up early just to call her .. plus i gotta go see rickdaddy cause he just got sugery ... goodnight i guess ..