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a fish named wanda.. (impressionofme) wrote,
@ 2003-10-09 23:13:00
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    Current mood: artistic
    Current music:TV

    jsut bend the pieces till they fit.like they were made for this..but they werent meant for this!
    My name is: over-used
    I may seem: moody and annoying
    But I'm really: sensitive and scared
    People who know me think: i really dont know?
    If you know me you'd probably: think you know me...but you have no idea
    Sometimes I feel: pointless
    My days are pretty: routine, predictable, boring
    Yesterday: i slept from when i got home till when i woke up this morning only waking to eat dinner
    In the morning I: brush my teeth :)
    I like to sleep: all the time..its the only true escape
    If I could be doing anything right now I would be: in Paris with the love of my life...im such a hopeless romantic
    Money is: not easy to find
    One thing I don't have that I wish I did is: someone who cared about me as much as i cared about them
    One thing I have that I wish I didn't is: an attraction to cruel boys
    All you need is: freedom
    When I look in the mirror I see: someone i dont reconignize..i havnt been myself lately
    What I Love is: a hurtful game filled with brief periods of complete content that you would die just to live once more.
    If an angel flew into my window at night I would: want him to take me to heaven with him
    If a demon crashed into my window I would: ask him if he liked chocolate or vanilla
    If I could see one person right now it would be: Lauren janusee...whenever i see her it means its the summer time..i miss you lauren
    Something I want but I don't really need is: a metal brief-case
    I live for: Paris
    I am afraid of: falling for him again
    It makes me angry when: people make me explain myself
    I dream about: getting out of here
    I daydream about: standing in the waves and grinding the sand between my toes once more as the sunset peels its last remaining rays from the sky...the only difference from this past reality is that in the daydream..you could be there too






    a fish named wanda.....

    tomorrow is ocktoberfest and im SO excited i enjoyed ocktoberfest last year more then you'll ever know! Mayfair was amazing as well~

    we ate up our words and spit out the shells of the past.

    i need a digital camera really cheep so i can buy it for Paris! im so god damned excited

    too much summer to count the stars
    morning rises pushes down the setting of mars
    we sat in the moon light
    and watched the elegant shore
    the fog rose around us without one word or more
    one of those moments you catch in your heart
    one of those moments i shared in bliss
    once more i held your hand and we'd kiss
    i am so cold now
    the sun has set
    holding your place now this blades a threat
    will i ever see you or feel the surrender of your eyes
    can i help but feel them stinging me
    burning an imprint deep in my memories
    and the sky is dark and blue with the cold...



    NOTHING COMPARES
    can i quit?
    im quiting
    im quiting my friends
    im quiting dancing
    i wish i could quit school
    i quit you
    should i quit living

    i went to the doctor guess what he told me? girl you better try to have fun no matter what you do... but hes a fool



    Freedom is the opening of a box full of clumsy unread words.
    Flowing out from deep inside a defaced object is a cluster of expressions.
    Open it and you can see a teeming collection of senseless words.
    They detonate for your eyes to see and escape through your utterances.
    Unlocked and callow this box lets each word become emancipated.
    Streaming and unorganized each word is experienced one by one.
    This sentence is a modern emotive; forcing you to read on.
    Adjacent to you, this box sat for moment in time; until it was shut up.
    Subsequent to this it lay quiet and dusty waiting for a hand with an intention to let it speak again.

    In a Dream I could only be myself.
    The day would hold such a different fate.
    My parent’s screams could go unheard.
    Your mouth would kiss me leaving me assured
    We’d never fight and by no means would tears sting my bloodshot eyes.
    Like the birds we scared out of that inverted tree,
    Without running away even I could be free.
    Only in a dream could I feel so alive and my life have the impression of being half-way.
    When I awake I crave sleep.
    Only in my desire could our relationship be deep.
    My unconscious fills me with a picture of perfection,
    Only to be wrinkled by the sound of a screaming in my ear.
    I could be anything in this fantasy world of mine
    But most importantly who I yearn to be.
    A girl who doesn’t cry herself dry
    And who doesn’t disappoint you when she tries.
    So maybe ill slip into a dream forever…
    A fantasy where I have no fear of being myself.















    In my dreams I can be free.
    In the fake affections my dreams display,
    I don’t feel this comfort during my day.
    The counterfeit oxygen I breathe is pulling me deep
    Im so attached to the memories I keep.
    This unreality has taken me back to the summer.
    As we inhale the new summer to come; we exhale out our pain.
    We lie on my trampoline till midnight, laughing and acting totally insane.
    All the tears and smiles we’ve deemed could not be tainted.
    With these unique moments I was reacquainted.
    Splashing and racing our lives away in the sun;
    September we thought would never come.
    Only in dreams could these possibilities exist
    That I could rewind time and see the moments I missed.
    A million times I will awake
    My vagary soon sees a haunting brake.
    All around me are tears and things that mean nothing.
    I open my eyes and the room is bluffing.
    My dream has ended and the snow is thick
    On and on my life will move this is insufficiently tragic.
    Moments of full subconscious allure, are all you think about during the day.
    You’re swept up in those artificial dreams taking you away.






    These thoughts I think arnt meant for anyone
    And these aftificial tears are jewellery I where to show how much you really know


    HOLD ME CLOSER___________________________________________________________________________
    your feet as cold as mine, my red tear soaked eyes shine bright we are happy, but for how long? We are shattered adolescents who long to be children just to deem our childhood once again. Now as asthetic individuals we run in the grass, our silence is the artificial beauty we crave, my confidence in your words has coutless unexplainable possibilities. As you shiver, your back hard on the pavement, the stars in your eyes, we postpone our perceptive utterances and hold close this moment of complete understanding. the black paint ive smeared on the wall is a premonition of nothing at all, this opaque image i percieve is enigmatic to myself, but this security is captivating and the time we spend togetehr is short but it makes me miss you all the more. the excitment in your words percolates over me. i tickle and cinge with little spurts of pain. Im so callow but direct and i feel like reality is finding me inside. i hate my life but i love you right now please hold me closer and keep me here to stay. here in our playground where we can laugh and cry all day..out on your roof we sit in the sun holding onto our last breathe of summer we exhale together the car pulls in and the shattered mirrior i once saw myself in repairs for i am not on the path less taken and my future only points to a desk where i will sit...looking out on one inane pane of glass that holds nothing to our dark summer days and warm summer nights] my window will become my plaform which i wish that i could slowly descend from. your imperfect face rushes back to my mind i held out my hand an you took it that night my feet are so cold and my eyes fill with tears. as they pour down my face i am content with your embrace PLEASE hold me closer~

    BLACK AND WHITE GRAY AND YELLOW____________________________________________________________

    you sit you stare
    looking back pretending to care
    please dont predict me word for word
    you dont know me
    purple paper's all i see
    stop your complaining before i drop away

    do you want in from the outside
    its a cool night
    where the stars fall to pieces just for you
    looking in you dominate
    and looking in i see your fate
    the shapes are bent and cant find a place to stand

    depending on you is not my choice
    you dont even look to hear my voice
    but the waters jsut to cold to let you drown
    i hate this you crave this stop being such an ass hole


    ok like 20 months ago i started this poem but couldnt think of any way to end it...here it is

    FIRST KISS....(**how original**)_______________________________________________________________________

    I saw you i looked into your eyes day after
    we walked by one another then swiftly walked away you were so distant your name was not a care i just saw you and understood you
    you didn't care
    one day i stood by you and started to chatter
    we both looked at each other connected
    and nothing else seemed to matter
    i held your hand then you brounght me near
    i saw your eyes and mine filled with tears
    your arms around my waist
    and with decisions we were faced
    you leaned in beside my lips
    i felt your hands placed solidly on my hips
    then in that moment we stood in the hall not feeling the presence of anyone at all.
    just you and me the two of us there
    my hand brushing through your soft light brown hair
    then we pushed away having nothing more to say
    that moment was to long to take
    you left my there and hate filled my callow heart
    akward and trapped i fell to the floor i sat there all day not making a sound
    curled up like a person who'd jsut lost what theyd found
    i felt images and feelings i never experienced before
    in the dark i sat all by my own
    till a tall secret man asked me why i was there
    i told him our story and said i was confused
    he seemed strange and funny almost amused
    he then directed me to the exit and onto the street
    my feet hit the pavement like glass hits a hammer
    and the beauty of the rain really had NO glamour
    he then disappeared without a sound
    there i was left once again...no one around
    ...stars seemed to shine bright above my head
    and when i would see you was a moment id dread
    the next day i woke up
    you woke up beside me and you touched my head
    our lips met and silence was all around
    isolation and lonliness were pushed to the ground

    i am..._______________________________________________________________________________________________

    I am morgan. I am young.
    Everyday I feel a bit better about all that happened to me as a child.

    I am morgan. I am myself.
    Myself is not me.
    I stay off by myself and figure most everything out.

    I am morgan. I am dark.
    I walk down a path in the darkness I gather my head and all that is falling out from it
    I wonder, you just have to wonder, what the world has come to.

    I am morgan. Never thinking.
    You should just let the emmotions you have wear you out. Never think about it. You just make a bigger mess that way.


    Deep. Deep and regular and far off, off and away from the abuse and the person in my life.
    Wish. I wish I had eyes in the back of my head so I could look back at them and put them behind me.
    Rage. I have rage and desire for the lightning to come and strike them.
    Learn. Learn by your mistakes.
    Death. I stood over her hoping she was the last dead person I knew for a while.
    Live. She did not live but at least I did not slip into a dark lonely dream beside her unresponsive body.
    Myself. I stay.
    Get away. I need to cry. Shout.
    Pain. Get that pain out of morgan.
    Someone else. Then she won’t have to be someone else.


    they walked in her room..her belongings still there but there was an absence a deep absence that was felt.... like looking in her eyes....deep an silent blue like her life. a sadness you could nevr capture was what i thought of her. someone i handt seen in a while....i pictured her eyes an i saw her smile once more something i hadnt seen in a while could this be true was she jsut like you had she left me an cried all alone with no smile? was i really never there were her parents never home was i too far away for her to reach me late at night? she didnt leave me n e thing for my acceptance to take place
    a letter


    while your heart beat drives you mad in the stillness of rmembering what you had an what you lost.........



    Get away. I need to cry. Shout.

    Pain. Get that pain out of morgan.
    Someone else. Then she won’t have to be someone else.

    whats wrong?
    somethings wrong
    everytime i turn away from your sad eyes
    it stabs me
    an i feel your pain

    just thinking of you cramps me up inside
    my unexperienced hands trebled as i hit the keypad number by number
    i could make it obvious you could deny me
    no answer
    no solution
    you dont know me
    how could you know what youve been missing
    i will admit i hate those things we said
    i will admit i want to talk
    i wont admit what i feel
    your such a critic you will never get it
    and you will never understand
    your mind is set in one direction
    your emotions dont match mine
    drip the droplet drips down my perspiring cup of water
    drip the droplet drops down my sopping cheek
    i picked out a star for you in the incessant sky
    im drowning in the vision of your words
    still the star shines and the rain falls
    the water feeds into my veins and your star eats away at my tattered sanity
    still ill admit an the droplet drips
    onto the page where i wrote what i fear about you the most
    as a door opens wide into a repetitive dream ive had
    a splinter of glass decreases to my sad eyes...
    and i wake up in two days past


    lock me up
    throw me away
    tear your eyes
    blur your sight
    for i am gone
    gone away
    in the end everythings ok
    but nothings ok
    this must be the end
    i am hurt
    you hurt me deep
    this lock you found
    this lock you keep

    everything and everyone in the end we all are one
    have you ever been so confused you couldnt even force tears to come to your eyes so you could find comfort in the normal pattern of your insane "life"?
    have you ever felt there is no point in living but no point in dieing either?
    have you ever wanted something so bad that you hate it?
    have you ever asked a nonpresent public meaningless and most importantly solutionless questions?

    have you ever cried until the point that your tear ducts cant produce liquid anymore?

    have you ever slept on top of a skyscraper?

    have you ever slept in a canoe on a lake by yourself with two paddles to row you back to reality in the morning?

    have you ever been lost in your house?

    have you ever laid under the stars with a brown eyed boy who was twice your age?

    have you ever watched omni 1 when the multicultural programs come on?

    have you ever felt you could answer yes to any of these questions?

    i like the woodbine mohawk commercials espcially when theyre in spanish...









    OK HERES THE DEAL WITH THE ^ABOVE^...THIS IS A WHOLE LOTTA RANDOM SHIT...enjoy~:)



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