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 one10-29-2008, 11:00 PM Gabriel, Hello baby. I miss you terribly, which isn't anything out of the ordinary. I'm in a crazy mood. Like I'm hella sad, but I've actually had a really good day. Guess my mind is getting the best of me. So, the otherday my mom asked me how I was any different than you. With the whole drinking & partying. She was dead serious too. And I didn't have an answer for her. My feelings were hurt, that she would think I'm getting out of control or something. I just don't know. It made me feel like shit. I'm so sorry that I've made you feel bad about this whole thing. I'm so quick to be like, "you have a problem" and I've never tried to understand. That's bad on my part. I know that it's a struggle, but really, I have no clue what you're going through, what's going on in your mind. I do love you though. And I want you to know you can count on me for whatever you need. OH! So, I dyed my hair agian. just the bottom - remember how i tried to dye it dark a while ago? Well, I did again, but its black so it's darker than the rest of my hair but it looks a million times better. I really really need to do laundry and clean my room. It's sick. almost forgot. yesterday i got woken up at 6 am. Kelly ran out of gas so I had to drive ALL the way to Napoleon all extra early. I never got up that early, even when I still went to school. Crazy. lol. Okay so I need your help with gift ideas for Christmas. Here are the kids: Alec , 7 years old, boy Dominic, 2 years old, boy Gabrielle, 8 monthes old, girl Lincoln, 3 monthes old, boy you better give me ideas, or else. I ♥ you. Did I tell you that yet? Well I'm tired so I'm gunna let you go now. I'll be dreaming of you. ♥  10-31-2008, 12:14 AM Hey you. How's it going? Pretty "ehh" here. I'm bored. Since Ihave nothing better to werite about, I'll tell you about the latest episode in the soap oprea starring your best friend, Emily Barrett.  'Kay so Em didn't come to work today she was supposed to work 3 - CL. Whatev. Her reason being Zeke had to go to the hospital cuz he blacked out fell and hit his head on th e cement. That part is whatev too. Right, well she was supposed to either A)come in or B)come bring me the keys so I could lock the door. Well she quit texting and like 2 hours later she texts back saying how her phone died and she was in Toledo at the hospital, cuz Zeke got transfered to the hospital in Toledo. Which strikes me as funny because Esiquiel is incarcerated in Marion, so isn't Columbus like an hour closer than Toledo? And if he was in Columbus first, like she stated then why would they transfer him to Toledo? Honestly, I don't really care. Her story just doesn't sit right with me. OH, yeah so Lisa told her she needed a doctores note so Heather wouldn't complain. Emily comes up to work at 9:55 and gives me the keys. Heather said no note, no job so I guess she's fired. I was like "whoa" Drama - don't you just love it? SIKE!Ugh. I'm starting to get sick. Runny nose and sneezing. As long as I don't lose my voice again, I'm set. Cuz I'm not trynna sound like a dude again. ♥. I gotta go to the bank and cash my check in the morning. I'm sad. I've got like $320 in bills all due within 3 days of each other. Its rather depressing when your account drains in a couple days time. OH well though, at least I'm not behind or going into debt so I really can't complain. OH! Happy Halloween! I almost forgot. I found out this girl I know from back home is pregnant. Seriously, out of all the people I was friends with growing up only 3 besides me aren't parents. Which is sad because all of us are barely 18. (Which technically doesn't include me.) I'm tired now. Night night. ♥ 10-31-2008, 11:09 PM Gabriel ♥ So, let me tell yoiu about this amazing, amazing guy that I k now. First of all he's sexy as hell just the sight of him makes my knees go weak. Uhh, he's got the ability to make me go from angry to ecstatic in 3 seconds flat. Basically, I'm completely head-over-heels in love with the dude. Right now I'm so happy -god, I love you. I MISS YOU! Seriously baby, I don't think it's possible for me to be any more in-love with you than I am at this moment. I talked to your mom today. She said she talked to you. I'm real sad that I missed all of your calls but I was at work. I'm sorry♥. Guess she talked to Brittany and she told your mom that you told her that your with me and only me, that you love me and only wanna be with me, etc. NOt to write and all that jazz. Seriously that made my day. To know that you are for real when you tell me you love me. Any doubt that I had just went out the window. I love you baby. You mean everything to me. Night night baby. -Always- Stephanie Lynn 11-1-2008, 5:08 PM Awe. I love you and it was real nice to finally hear your voice again. I have this huge smile spread across my face. It's kinda funny how the simplest th ings can make my happiness skyrocket. I can't wait until I get the chance to see your face again. I miss you like a mad man. For real. 'Kay now I'll answer your letter. Yeah, I'm holding up just fince, basically all I've been doing is working and going out on the weekends. (Which I'll discuss that more later.) Ugh. College, That's a dirty word. haha. I want to go back but it's the whole enrolling, applying for financial aid thing that I'm trying to avoid. But I swear, one of these days I'm gunna get my crap together and go. About your goals... That sounds like a lot of writing. At least your looking forward to it tho, I mean it should help you sort out everything - mostly your issues with your mom, I really hope it helps your guys' relationship.Guess it's time for me to get to the whole drinking/partying thing I've been doing lately. Honestly, I have no idea why. Which doesn't help the situation. I'm not gunna lie. This is tough on me. I get sad and lonely and don't wanna be at home by myself, so I go to parties and I'll be fine for a while - not drinking or anything and as the night goes on people start pairing off doing their thing, whatev. I look around and all these people are all hugged up with someone. I see Rico & Raquel, Marissa & Travis and they are so happy together, they got that look in their eyes and you can really tell they love each other. It makes me jealous, because I miss you so much and all I want to be able to do is see you, but I can't. It's depressing - so I drink. Lately all you and I have been doing is fighting, so I drink even more and then I want what Rico & Raquel have even more. It's a bad cycle. At the end of it all, I cry my eyes out 'cuz I miss and need you. I whine forever - pass out, wake up the next day hungover and feeling like an idiot. That's all the "crap" that happens when I'm drunk. I don't act like I used to (before we were together) when I drink. Drunk or sober, you're the only guy I want & the only one I'm after. And I do not need to be where you're at. No thanks. I'm not out of control, promise. About Michigan, I left here at 10 PM got there at 12 AM stayed at the "party," which consisted of 8 or so people and was lame beyond lame, until 4-ish am, then went to charles house with Gabe and watched Jackass 2 then I passed out. NO funny business. Baby, you worry way too much about things. I love you. That's a fact.Have you seen yourself lately? Sweetie, there is nobody even ½ as fine as you in the crowd of clowns I hang with. Nobody else's hands fit together with mine perfectly like yours do. NO one else's embrace can make me melt and lower my defenses. My head wont rest naturally on anyone elses shoulder. Nobody else will sit and make crazy faces at my silly ones. Nobody else will tell me they love me simply because, and I'm pretty sure no one else will find it cute when I snore. No one else believes I'm beautiful first thing in the morning when my hair is all a mess and I have no make-up on. Nobody else looks at me the way you do, with happiness and passion in your eyes. Even if you could find one other person who could do all those things - There will never be someone who makes me feel the way I do about you. I love you, time nor distance can change that. Nobody has what it takes to fill your shoes. No worries, ever, because you and me... we've got that together forever kind of love. Always Stephanie Lynn ♥ Post a comment in response: |
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