|Current mood:|| enraged|
|Current music:||Maryln Manson - Better of Two Evils|
im going to tell you somthing, but its going to hurt to read. its bitter and cruel and i am very much aware of this. Ive never been this angry in my entire life and i need to do something, please forgive my harsh launguage and other use of degrading words for women, because i truly dont refer to women as 'sluts or whores' but i have a tale that i need to tell. I'm tired of being stepped on, and this is my retaliation.
i swear that freshmen are idiots, i mean we were all young once. but that doesnt mean you have to be a slut, especially if you come from a family that thinks that you never had sex and that they will arrange your marrige...what would spark a dirty lebanese girl to do such things? rebellion? lust? betrayal? lies? all these define my old girlfriend. Someone who said she loved me only after 3 weeks of knowing me, i mean it at least took me about 2 to 3 months to say those very words that she was so willingly ready to throw out..she also tried to have sex with me the first night we met, in which case i denied her telling her she didnt know what she was doing. (i know i should have just used her like she wanted to be used, but trust me folks she has that comming for sure.) - but im not like that. Anyway she was like WHOA the next day and all weirded out and i told her its okay.
And yes this is a shamelss post to utterly humiliate and hurt and yes she has hurt me, And for that she deserves much worse than this post, for tonight her lies show true. Now our relationship lasted roughly 6 months, in the last month of the relationship she had become very distant from me,shit got sour and i knew something was up and it wasnt the fact that we disagreed politically about the US advancements in Iraq....but she tried to make it seem that way. Now im not a perfect individual, i want that to be clear- but i treated her with the upmost respect and dignity, we had arguments from time to time usually caused by me feeling very alone, pushed aside and jealous of her not spending time with me. Instead she spent her time with her 'best friend', we will call him towlhead1. Now towlie was her quote on quote 'best friend' and knowing his past on campus i can clearly say he is a dickhead. He would tell her that as long as she is happy, than he is happy for her (classic line for any prick waiting to get in any girls vagina) he would talk badly about me to her all along being safe behind the lie that he already had a gf that lived in Jordan. Now i wonder how well that little lie lasted to the other girls i have seen him date over the different semesters? oh guess what? they arent his girls anymore...suckers.. heh... guess whats in store for my ex? if he is reading this, props to you for being such a good player, i envy your ability to trick, deceive and lie to women and get away with it. oh wait nevermind i dont envy you one bit, your a sack of shit that will brun in hell... or allah's hell whatever you wanna call it.
so for that last month she pushed me away, wouldnt kiss me or spend time with me. She needed to show the public that she was a good girl and that she couldnt just dump her bf, so instead behind the scenes she would treat me like shit until i got fed up and broke it off! - then she would go tell everyone how sad she was that i 'dumped' her even though for 2 weeks i begged to get her back even as a friend. and i continued to confess the love i still honestly felt for her. but no, she had a sinister plan all along, any other girl would have forgave me for how hard i tired. i was under alot of pressure and i didnt mean to break things off but i could see it in her eyes that she didnt love me and i flipped out. She didnt have the courage to tell me to my face that she loved another. So she faked a few tears and then when i asked her if she was goign to start dating other people, she said not for a while...guess 'not for a while' meant 1 week cause she is sure fucking mr.towlie now, who mysteriously doesnt have a girlfriend in Jordan anymore, what a surprise.
if you read my post before this i had a dream about this and i had no idea! its amazing how psychic i am. I want to thank all of you that support who i am and i love you all for that. Im sorry that you have to see me stoop this low to degrade someone in my journal, but they have degraded me in my heart and left a few scars, this is my way to strike back.
as far as a direct comment to the 'immature' : its amazing how good you are at lying, i hope your parents catch you in your little sex habits so they can disown you, your illness hasnt made you a good person, its turned you into a 'howmanycockscanigetinme' desperation monster. Maybe when you grow up (assuming you do) youll realize what kind of person you really were on this grand year of 2003. Or maybe its just because your a freshmen, in your case i hope it is the later.
heh sry ppl, mad