| Current mood: |  drained |
| Current music: | "Perfect" - Simple Plan |
this is not a cry for sympath either, more or less an explanation ;[
Today was terrible. I was once again reminded of how much I am hated and dispised by everyone. Let's just say the only thing I could do when I got home, was cry. This week was a tremendous let-down for me. It started good and ended shitty..I hate myself, I hate everything about me. There is not one good thing I can think. Even more so, I blew up today cuz I thought I caused something to go wrong and was angry about it. So, my sister had to push my buttons, and I went off. After about 2 hours of lying down in the car, Mom opened the door and told me to come inside and eat. My dad had yelled at me for going off at my sister, but when I came in he said he wasn't mad at me, and I didn't do anything wrong. He said he loved me and gave me a hug, and I hugged back. I think that was the first hug between us for a long long time. Usually, I'm too caught up in defending myself for reasons brought about me by the human race. Often times I get so tense inside defending myself and being angry at the world, and I just forget to live. I don't deserve to be loved, a tear ran down my cheek when he hugged me, cuz I didn't deserve it, and everything's just soo messed up. It sucks, I know. And, whats worse, I can't change that.. it seems no matter what I do, its Never right. So, everyone has a reason to be mad at me. Im a fucked up individual who never meant anything. I only wish I could die, and rid you all of my horrid self.... maybe I'll get my wish.
You represent... loneliness.
Always alone and always sad about it... unlike
angst, you don't have to look for a reason to
be miserable. You want to be in the company of
people but aren't sure how to act when you're
with them. Sometimes you have to make an
effort. You can't always wait for others to
come to you.
What feeling do you represent?
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