 | FOLD ME DOWN DEEP, DEEP IN THE HEART OF YOUR SINS ( icryforyou) wrote,
@ 2003-11-05 07:58:00 |
| Current mood: |  sad |
| Current music: | Hillary Duff XD |
I had the worst dream ever about Joe. God I miss that boy.
sigh
I'm so fucking lonely. I've said that like fifty times but it's true. I feel like I'm about to die. I just come home and do my homework and do nothing. I hardly ever get on the computer. I don't have anyone to call and whatnot. *sad face* I miss all my e-friends and my Weston friends. Halloween was absolutely terrible for me. It was depressing and horrible and I'm so glad it only comes around once a year. Everyone else prety much had a good Halloween, or from what I read. Sorry I haven't commented and that my journal at this point in time looks like shit. The truth is that I've just not felt like it and I can't help it. Usually I can atleast force myself to but I just couldn't. I feel like shit all the time again. I'm right back where I was two years ago.
And it hurts so bad. I'd rather die than keep living.
My father is an asshole. I haven't talked to him since MONDAY and I'm trying to go for a record.
The other day he just started screaming at me so I just started screaming at hime again because my vagerz was bleeding and if you had the nerve to piss me off then it was your funeral. Anyhow he started saying all this shit, I don't remember what half of it was but one thing really stuck out in my mind. The phrase (or rather the extremly loud exclamation): YOU'RE A FUCKING B STUDENT.
He said that as if A's and B's weren't good enough. Last year I was a C student. Atleast I'm getting A's this year. Nothing is ever good enough anymore. I know kids that would kill for A's and B's. I'm thinking about just letting my grades drop because he's not satisfied with the ones I have. Maybe that will teach him to appreciate what I can do.
In the mean time I'm not sure if I'd cry if he died. Sometimes I think about that. I don't think I would be upset at all.
I hope someone COMMENTS because no one has in a long time and that's mean.
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