 | FOLD ME DOWN DEEP, DEEP IN THE HEART OF YOUR SINS ( icryforyou) wrote,
@ 2003-10-14 17:25:00 |
| Current mood: |  crushed |
I didn't get it. I'm so upset. How could I be in these classes since second grade and not get in? I don't believe this. God. I wish I hadn't been so worried about if I got in or not. How could I have not made it? I just don't get it. I feel like such a failure. God. My mom keeps trying to make me feel better. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have even thought I could get in. I shouldn't have even thought it. Jesus. Just think how I'll feel when I get rejected from half the colleges in the country. If this hurts as bad as it does being rejected from a college has got to be worse. I don't ever want to go back to school again. I don't think I can walk down the halls and make eye contact with the people in my English class ever again. I hope no one asks me about it. Tomorrow is my last day in my English class. Atleast I was smart enough to make advanced. Yeah right. You can have the IQ of a pea and be in advanced. I feel like shit. I want to fall off the face of the earth.
I can't believe I didn't get in.
I'm going to go wallow in self pitty now.
What makes it even worse is that I know my brother could do it. And my dad will be ashamed when he finds out. He expected me to prove to the people at my school that I COULD do it. But I couldn't. I knew right after I took the test that I didn't get in. I could feel it. So then I started saying to myself "You know what they say, if you don't think you got in then you won't get in" so I started believing I did get in. I should have stuck with what I felt. I knew I was too stupid.
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