Giving up the ghost
It's been going back and forth since February 2007. We ran in spurts. Green light for a month or two, red light for 6-8. The others would come and go and break you, and it just took a few empty bottles to bring you back to me. Not that I can hold any of that against you, I was just as guilty. And this was just a game. We were on again by late December, then off til Mid-October 2008. Finally at the ned of January we seemed to have each other on the same page. We had our fights and our misunderstandings. You weren't ready, it was too soon. I waited. You had everyone fooled. All of our friends, even your family. They still ask about "us." But "we" never really were.
As much as the thought killed me I knew I had to get out. I love you, you were my best friend. I told you everything, I must've just been too comfortable. You'd tell me you wanted space, so I'd keep my distance, then you'd chase after me. When we fell asleep with your arm around me and your nose burried between my shoulder blades, and when I'd wake up to you kissing the nape of my neck, how can we be just friends? You cross the line over and over, and expect me not to feel wronged. I've got this heavy, sinking feeling that this is the end.
I was so strong when I walked out on you. I wasn't losing sleep, you were up til 4. I was out with old friends I hadn't seen in years, you were sitting home alone. And you found me, and you apologized "you have to talk to me!" and I was silly enough to believe the teary eyed boy standing over me. I wanted so badly to believe that I didn't have to throw this all away. I'm such a child sometimes, to think life would work out in such a way. So I took you back, and you took me home, and less than 24 hours later you were screaming.
It doesn't have to be this hard.
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