Nikki Taylor (i_stilltasteyou) wrote, @ 2007-05-23 18:33:00

it makes me sick, it makes me shake
When I came back to you, and said thatafter all this time I had realized that no one loved me like you -genuinely; I can't trust anyone the way I could trust you -completely; No one made me as happy on a regular basis as you did -honestly..I meant that I realized I had taken you, "us" for granted. Yet, somehow you took it as a "last resort" so I wouldn't be alone. Just listen. There aren't words to express my level of appreciation for you. Any little thing you do or say, doesn't and has never had an alterior motive. You aren't out to get anything, you just wanted love. That's so rare..so so rare, especially for our age.


I really wish we hadn't fallen in love so young, because I really think we could have been something big. As scary as it is to think about or admit to, I could see myself with you forever. It's crazy, insane, I know I know, but honestly. We hardly ever fought, and when we did it wasn't for long..I'm sorry for how I acted towards the end though, It really was me. I don't know why I insisted on looking for things to pick apart, and now you're scared.

"I don't know if I'm ready or want commitment again..I'm afraid I'll do something, I do so many little things, meaning well, and thinking I'm doing the right thing.. but in the end I only make things worse..just stupid decisions I make." But, you forget how well I know you, and what you're thinking, and your intentions.


When we kissed I tried to make it as close to old times as possible, as I'm sure you noticed. I regret leaving over a year later. I've never been that back-and-forth girl. I always critisized couples who got together and broke up, but I've seen enough of the world without you and it isn't what I expected or what I want.


So here it is, my second attempt at coming back to you. The first time you chose someone else. Broke my heart right infront of me, though you said it was only because you were still hurting and wanted to make me hurt.. I don't know.. I just don't know. I'm the type who could swallow the sea to wash down all my pride, and you know it. Please don't tell me you're just fucking with my head becayse you can.. again.

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