So who do you think you're kidding?
Perkasettes and Pregnancy tests. I need a tan. I feel like a junky. Living on iced coffee and prescription pain killers, I've got needles holes on the opposite side of my elbows. I need to highlight my hair, to avoid a breakdown. Because that's what I do. Any time I feel inaddequate I go no the borderline of a breakdown. Well, maybe I can fix myself if I change something..maybe my hair? yes..darker lighter highlights lowlights curls straightened longer shorter something something something. The makeup isnt enough & I almost feel like I'm losing myself anymore. I listen to the music that he likes more than the music I like, so that I can keep up in conversation. He changes on a regular basis, but the outcome is always always the exact same thing.
Every girl I look at, I think, what does she have that I don't. I never seem to find anything better though. In my mind I've got a hell of a lot to offer. So I could lose 20 pounds, maybe get my nails done..but other than that I can't find anything. AmItheonlyonewhoseeswhatyouremissingbynotgivingmeachance?
must be.
And I'm so materialistic anymore. I'm laughter and uppers and bad money management. Is that a tripple threat? I chase a designer label more than ever. My giggling echoes, it's not even that it's outbursts. And they fill the room and I know it's got to be suffocating to anyone else attempting to hold a conversation. Dooney purse, Dior sunglasses, riding the volvo about town like gas is free. I need something new. Something real. Something that isn't artificial and that I won't find with a price tag.
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