So we're alone again.
You confuse me to know end. I don't know whether there is actual attraction or an ulterior motive. Co-workers with benefits. That's what I'm calling us. I call you occasionally, and you talk with me for a while, not sounding too put off by the fact that I called. But you never call me. I try to make plans here and there, the day of type plans, because I'm no good with ahead of time plans. You however, always have something already going on. You can't make time for me.
But at work when I do see you, I catch you staring sometimes. And you help me out when you can, by doing little things like holding a door. When we're alone and I go to kiss you, I pull away and you still go in for the kiss and I laugh at you..and you reply with "aww you're fucked up." and then you won't kiss me unless I pretty much jump on you. But you let me. You always let me. I asked you to walk me to my car, and you did I was holding your arm to make sure you wouldn't leave, and you told me that you weren't going to and that I didn't need to pull you. "C'mon walk with me.. you know you want to.." 'Maybe.' You don't give me straight answers. We ended up walking to your car and talking. You had a party to go to and people to meet up with, but you spared me "five minutes" which turned into 15-20. We kissed some more while your phone went off. I kissed your neck while you attempted to respond to my cousin, then your cousin. You were enjoying it, and I know it, because I saw your eyes closed, and head tilted back..I laughed and pointed out that you kind of stuttered a little when I nibbled on your ear. "You're fucked up." you always say that and smile, when I don't kiss you, or I laugh at you, or I kiss you all over. "You want me to stop? because I'll leave.." but you don't say anything..you just kind make a laughing sign and shake your head.
And as last time, one of my parents showed up and cut out after work "hook up" short. "You're going to get me in trouble." and I laughed at how worried you looked, because honestly there's nothing to worry about. I hastily said goodbye and walked over to speak with my dad who was on his way out of the state, you ended up almost hitting him in your rush to get away.
You keep me guessing. At times you seem uninterested, but if you weren't why would you kiss me and sit with me after work when you could be home sleeping or at a party drinking/smoking? I don't know how to read you. at all. "Do I bother you? Do you want me to stop harassing you the way I do?" 'How do you harass me??' "By hanging around and pushing you around a little..and taking your stuff..you know.' "no, it's fine." 'Well, is this pointless? Should I give up? because you always blow me off, and I don't want to waste my time..so honestly..' "I don't blow you off! ::laughs:: and nothing's ever pointless ever." You give me that coy smile, and I don't know if you're trying to play hard to get or just being polite and not crushing my feelings. I wish I had a definate sign.
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