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I've got love, and romance, and relationships..the entire process, all completely and entirely ass backwards. Which is probably why I'm alone. There should be attraction, anticipation, nervousness, suspense, and all that should lead up to the first kiss, where it's magic and wonderful and life's life a movie, and it takes your breath away. I however, choose to makeout with someone first, sit and think about it for a few days, and then decided if I actually might like them or not. Bad strategy...worst game plan EVER. So there's Nick. I met him about a month ago when I was out with Caite, and he's cool and all. There's nothing bad about him, aside from he kind of resembles Jimmy Cauley (from a few years ago..before he got..I dont know how to describe it, but Jimmy freshman year=hott! Jimmy now= no. not at all) Anyway, I think the biggest problem there is I know I can have Nick if I want him, there's no chase. None at all. It was cute on Thursday though, when we first kissed. He was tickling me and I was trying to get away from him and just ended up right in his arms. That sounds cute right? But I don't want Nick. On to the next.. Saturday after homecoming I ended up sneaking out at 3 a.m. to see Adam. Adam and I have had our little rendezvous for a month and a half now..probably a little longer. With that situation there was a build up to a first little kiss, and I really was attracted to him. I had a crush on 'higglebobble' I'll admit it. But he's too old, I'm too young. It isnt really awkward at work though, just no one can know about it..but everyone's been pretty suspicious since Taneisha saw us kissing in the parking lot. We hooked up..I guess that would be Sunday morning. No one knows about that yet. You would think this would cause tension at work, but it's just strange..that it's not so strange. We used to talk at work everytime we'd pass eachother..yelling back to the other one making comments.. but since we started hooking up we don't speak in public.. a wave or a nod or something but not much more. I'm quitting that boy. Then to later on sunday, after work. I got done at 10, because I was closing host, however I stayed and helped Amanda(who just started bartending) break down the bar, and then I stayed and bullshitted with her, robbie, and Josh. I had always thought Josh was cute, but he's really quiet..or is at work atleast. We always push eachother around and threaten eachother, nothing serious. He'll tell me I'm "gonna get fucked up" and I'll respond by pushing him against a wall saying "by who? obviously not you because I can push you around without even trying." and he told me he let me push him around. Why else would someone want you to pin them to a wall? So I went in for a kiss, on tip toe with my hand around his neck..just to see what he would do. He went in for it, I pulled away laughing. "Aww, I thought you were really going to kiss me.." and I smiled "what would you do if I did?" and then there was the cute little moment where we kissed.."I guess I'd kiss you back" he smiled and we went back to work on our seperate sides of the restuarant. Later that night, as I was saying, I waited around until the resturant closed completely and sat and talked with Josh in the parking lot for a while. We ended up talking and making out for an hour and a half ish..in his jeep. I think I might actually like him. What I don't like is the fact that he never has time to chill, or never makes time rather. excuses excuses.. in this case..there's too much of a chase and I don't know what's going on. Wayne, a server from work, told me he has a crush on me last night, I said thanks. Wayne's a nice guy, but he's like..6 years older than me. I told him I don't hook up with coworkers, he called me a liar. I laughed. He found out about me and Adam, I don't know how though. I just hate how the guys I don't care about are always around if I want them..and the one I want doesn't have time for me at all. not ever. But that's how it works. Post a comment in response: |
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