| Current mood: |  confused |
First Entry :)
Hey everyone. Well where to start. I guess this would have been a little easier to do if I had started years ago. Never knew anything about this till I saw the movie The Perfect Man. That got me thinking. I'm not one to tell people how I feel or if they hurt me or disappointment me, and I know that keeping it held inside isn't the best thing for me to do either. And well let's be honest not everyone out there listens when you need someone to listen to you. Or you have the people who are ready to give advice without letting you tell the whole story. So anyway. I guess I'll just start and from here on out this should start making sense. :)
Well I moved back home to Indiana on Sept 1st. The biggest move I've probably made in my life. I was born in Indiana but left when I was 7, due to my mom getting married to my stepdad. I'll update you later on my life. About a month ago I decided I needed to get out of Illinois and move on with my life. I had to figure out some things and I knew I couldn't do it there. So I decided to move back to Indiana so right now I'm living with my grandparents till I can get on my feet. I did get a great job though. Things may go good from here on out. I finally got a good job. The job I've wanted for so long. I'm actually training to become a Pharmacy Tech and work my way up from there. I have to say that I've only been at my job for 4 days and I LOVE IT. :)
Ok anyway I guess I'll introduce some people so you will know who I'm talking about in my entries to come.
Mike- ex boyfriend, boyfriend right now... not really sure what we are at the moment. He lives back in Illinois but says he is going to move out here to be with me. We will see how long that lasts. You'll figure out what I mean with entries to come. I love him with all my heart and miss him greatly I seriously hope he means everything this time around cause this is the last time. Why I put up with things is beyond me? Only God knows I suppose.
Dad- I will be referring to my real dad who I've never met. But hopefully will be soon.
Stepdad- my stepdad who I don't get along with
Mom-my bestfriend
Those are the key people you'll hear about mostly. If I talk about someone new I'll fill you in.
So far my move is going good. Of course a few days after I move Mike realizes he wants to be with me and he is in love with me. Do I believe him? Not really sure right now. I want to but I want him to prove it this time around. My heart wants to do flips and be excited about it but my mind tells me not to and to push him away. But he is the one I want to be with the rest of my life. Yet no one seems to understand that. He's the one I can be myself around and feel comfortable with. I can't see myself without him. He's everything to me.
We almost had a baby. But recently lost it. :( We are both still upset about that right now. I want kids so bad but I'm so afraid I won't be able to have one.
The things that I worry about. Anyway. I guess I'll go for now. I'll keep you updated as much as I can.
Keep Smiling and Follow Your Heart
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