HMac (hnicolem) wrote, @ 2006-06-12 16:40:00

I think this is the longest I've never updated. I don't feel like i'm losing my self, but maybe i am changing. I like the new experiences i've had. I just worry if i'm changing for nothing. I've been more distant from my friends. And they're worrying me. How much is too much trying, and how much is not enough?

It's been raining all day. It's the first hurricane of the season. There needs to be more thunder and lightning.

I still have money issues with myself. I can't win. But i think of two of the best compliments i've ever gotten:

"You'll never be poor."- my mom
"You'll have a penthouse in New York City someday."- berkeley

And then i think, it could be much much worse.


Grad school is getting scary. The course descriptions are intimidating. The costs are intimidating. The loans are intimidating. It's a fear of the unknown; the worst kind. I have to try to resassure myself that my scores do meet the averages of everyone else. (I'm just like everyone else!)



All of this (All of this!) better pay off in the end. If it doesn't, sohelpmeGod, i may as well die.

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